12 ways to praise your child (parents must read it)
Good morning, accompany you to read.
Mark Twain said, "A sincere compliment will keep me alive for two months."
there is no doubt about the positive effect of praise on people.
what parents need to know is how praise can best guide their children to grow up.
our common praise words may become mantras, such as "you are smart", "you are great", "keep trying", etc., but the real praise is not reflected in these general praise.
praising a child's talent, rather than his efforts, strategies, and choices, is slowly stifling his growing mind.
because the biggest difference between growing thinking and fixed thinking is that people think that their intelligence and abilities are quantitative rather than changing in a fixed mode of thinking.
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people with a growing mindset believe that their abilities can be improved through hard work.
Professor Carol Dweck of Stanford did an experiment on praising patterns and the development of thinking patterns, and found that
Children with fixed thinking patterns (Fixed Mindset) think that hard work and difficulties make them feel stupid, while children with growth thinking patterns (Growth Mindset) think that efforts and difficulties can create new neuronal connections and make the brain smarter.
growth mode of thinking (Growth Mindset) can make children:
embrace learning and growth-understand the effect of effort on intellectual growth-have a good ability to adapt to setbacks. Most importantly, it can be educated and cultivated.
so as parents, how should we cultivate children's growth mode of thinking?
01
praise efforts
when the child gets good grades, which of the following two mothers' compliments do you think can encourage your child more?
method 1: "you did really well in the exam, baby is so good!"
method 2: "you did really well in the exam. You must have worked very hard. Keep going!"
often praise the child in a way, the child will not pursue the extreme in the future study, challenge himself, and often choose a simple task, because what he wants is to be successfully completed and affirmed.
and the usual way to praise children, children will dare to challenge more difficult tasks.
by contrast, the latter naturally grows faster than the former.
02
praise perseverance
when a child tries challenging tasks, such as breaking the go game, trying rock climbing, and failing countless attempts, remember to affirm his patience and perseverance.
compared to "come on, you can do it!" In terms of, "persistence is the greatest success, good performance, continue to cheer!" More able to encourage the child, and will not bring pressure to the child to give up halfway, the child will be more likely to succeed.
03
praise details
when the child's ability is improved to some extent, remember to praise the details, the more specific the better.
for example, baby, you are now more standard in swimming posture, and the frequency of breathing is more uniform, which has made great progress compared with before!
this kind of praise can make children pay more attention to their own details, which is often the key to success or failure.
04
praise creativity
A child's imagination is the most abundant. When a child's wild imagination is recognized, he will be more willing to think about the world and life.
Children's creativity is the accumulation of creativity and thinking.
so, when your child is happy to share his ideas with you, be sure to praise your child.
05
praise attitude
whether in study, work or life, attitude determines quality. When your child finishes his homework and prepares for tomorrow's study, have you ever praised his learning attitude?
when children complete the task with a very positive attitude, don't forget to affirm their attitude.
06
praise the spirit of cooperation
No matter how smart the child is, he cannot always do all the work alone in the future.
being able to cooperate well with peers is actually cultivating children's ability to communicate with others and the ability to work together and cooperate.
it is very important to praise your child's spirit of cooperation. When the child finishes his group homework, tell him:
"your group works together for a goal. This spirit should be maintained for the rest of life."
07
praise leadership
although some things are not done entirely by the child himself, he is responsible for management, and he does a good job because he has a strong sense of responsibility and leadership. This must be praised.
Let the child know that although he is not personally involved in every step, you have achieved it, which is a very important factor.
08
praise courage
praise a child's courage is the best time to help him improve his self-confidence index.
Courage is not only the external performance of children, but also their inner understanding of themselves. For example, children dare to let go of their parents' hands when they learn to swim, and children are not afraid to learn bicycles.
parents should encourage their children: "the best quality is to dare to face difficulties!"
help children to be adventurous, confident and confident when they walk independently in the world.
09
praise meticulous
some small things often reflect the details, and the details reflect the child's comprehensiveness and multi-angle.Du Si.
when you go out to play, children will not forget to bring umbrellas. It is very useful when it rains. The careful child will keep an eye on the weather forecast before going out. At this time, his parents should praise him for his thoughtfulness.
10
praise credit
credit is not good enough, good credit is a quality that must be cultivated, so we should help children understand the importance of honesty in time.
for example, when you have an agreement with your child, you can say:
"I believe you because what you said before has been fulfilled."
"I believe you, you will find a good way."
11
praise modesty
learn good advice and experience from others and improve your own ability. People with growing thinking generally have an open mind to learn from others.
when a child is successful, he should not be blindly praised. He should be guided to sum up his gains and losses and let him continue to work hard.
when the child fails, let the child learn to listen to the advice of others, and when the child listens carefully to the advice of others, he must praise the child.
12
praise the choice
to accomplish the task well, sometimes because of hard work, but sometimes because we have made the right choice, praising the child for making the right choice is also the key to the cultivation of growing thinking.
parents want to say to their children, "you are great!" Think carefully about how praise can help your child grow up better.
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