80% of the troubles in life are self-inflicted.

there is a question on Zhihu: "what is the source of pain in life?" A high praise replied: "most of the pain in life is not caused by others, but by yourself." Everyone is attacked by two arrows: the first arrow is shot at you by the outside world, and the second arrow is shot at yourself. What really hurts you is the arrow in your heart. My heart is the only one that can make you happy and bitter. "

80% of life's troubles are self-inflicted.

if you untie the shackles of your heart, you will be free and calm.

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01

other people's mouths

their own way

there is a story.

A middle-aged woman set up a stall on the side of the road, and her husband came to deliver the meal by bike. He said to his wife apologetically, "I'm sorry I'm late. Are you hungry?" When the woman saw her husband, she replied happily, "there's no hurry, it's still early." Then the man ate with his wife with a spoiled face.

later, a man came and looked at the woman's box lunch and said in surprise, "you are really bitter. This dish is so bad. How can you eat it?" After hearing her words, the middle-aged woman cried aggrieved, and the husband next to her was also very uncomfortable.

many times, a comment from others may influence your mood.

No one can share it for you, and no one can empathize with it, so why take other people's one-sided words and feel sorry for yourself.

there is a fable.

father and son went to the city for the market. The father rode the donkey and the son led the donkey. A passer-by saw it and said, "this father is so selfish that he rode a donkey and let his son walk on the ground." Hearing this, the father hurriedly got down from the donkey's back and let his son ride the donkey. He led the donkey away. Before long, a passer-by said, "this son is really unfilial. The old man is too old to let him ride the donkey." On hearing this, the son was full of shame and hurriedly asked his father to get on the donkey, and the father and son rode on the donkey together. Not far away, an old woman saw that father and son were riding a donkey and said, "how can such a thin donkey bear the weight of two men?" Poor donkey! " Father and son listen to also have a sense, and both come down, no one to ride, simply walk, donkey is also happy and relaxed. After walking a few steps, he met an old man and said mockingly, "this man is stupid enough, but he doesn't ride a donkey and would rather walk." In the end, the father and son were in distress and didn't know what to do.

there is a sentence in Zengguang Xianwen: "there is no one to say behind, and no one to talk about behind."

many times, when others don't know the whole picture, they will inevitably give false comments.

when you care too much about what other people think, you will add countless unnecessary troubles to yourself.

whether it is bitter or tired, no matter how much others say, there is nothing you can do to help.

you have to live by yourself, you have to carry your own burden, and you still have to go on your own.

02

those who are willing to feel tired

those who don't care

Matsuura Mitaro once said:

if people think too much, they will be irritable. If you have too much heart, you will suffer.

there is a young man who is sensitive and always likes to think too much and complicate things, so he makes himself physically and mentally exhausted and doesn't know what to do.

so he went up the mountain to visit a Zen master and asked him for help.

after the Zen master understood his troubles, he said nothing and brought a cup and a pot of water. Then pour water into the cup until the cup is full, the water overflows, and it doesn't stop. The young man hurriedly reminded that the Zen master had just stopped and then explained, "in fact, the human heart is just like this cup, and its capacity is limited.

if you always think of something you don't have, you will only let your heart be filled with these complicated things." naturally, there is no room for relaxed and happy things. "

there is a saying: "in this world, the most unhappy people are those who think too much."

the so-called annoyance is that you impose unnecessary burdens and troubles on yourself.

in the eighty-third chapter of A Dream of Red Mansions, Tan Chun and Xiang Yun went to see Lin Daiyu when suddenly they heard outside shouting, "you immature little hoof!" What are you, messing around in this yard! "

when Lin Daiyu heard this, she thought she was alluding to herself, so her liver and intestines burst and cried and fainted. But this is just a servant in the Grand View Garden scolding his granddaughter.

the writer Ma de once said:

"A lot of people use their strong imagination to commit suicide."

with a little connection, things that cannot be hit can be arranged on yourself. There is no jittery voice over there, and this side is already besieged on all sides. "

in fact, those who set their minds to it are tired, and those who don't care don't care.

sometimes what hurts us is never the opinions and opinions of others, but our own sensitivities and worries.

when you let go of too much suspicion, there will be fewer misunderstandings and contradictions.

at that time, you will live a comfortable life and get along more well with others.

03

put down

there is a saying in the Buddhist sutra: "if you cling to one thought, you will be trapped in one thought; if you put it down, you will feel at ease in your heart."

the greatest pain in a person's life is not that he can't get it, but that he insists on too much.

the more you fight, the more you will fall into a corner.

the more entangled you are, the more miserable you are.

A man was lovelorn, so she went to the great philosopher Socrates.

lovelorn: "what do you think I should do?" I really love him. " Socrates: "what if he thinks leaving you is a kind of happiness?" Lovelorn: "NoYes! He once told me that he felt happy only when he was with me! " Socrates: "it was once, it was in the past, but he doesn't think so now." Lovelorn: "that means he's been lying to me?" Socrates: "No, he's always been loyal to you." When he loves you, he is with you, and now he does not love you, he is gone, there is no greater loyalty in the world. " Lovelorn: "but how unfair it is that he doesn't love me now, but I still love him painstakingly!" Socrates: "it's not fair. I mean you're not fair to the one you love." Originally, it is your right to love him, but it is his right to love you or not! " Lovelorn: "but he didn't even give me a chance. Do you think it's abhorrent?" Socrates: "of course it's abhorrent, but it's a good thing you've got rid of this abominable man now, and you should be happy, son." Lovelorn: "happy?" How is that possible, but anyway, I was abandoned. " Socrates: "time will heal your heart." Lovelorn: "I wish I had this day, but where should I start my first step?" Socrates: "go and thank the one who abandoned you and bless him." Lovelorn: "Why?" Socrates: because he gives you loyalty and gives you a new chance to find happiness. "

many moments, we always think that it is someone else, giving us pain and disappointment.

in fact, you gave yourself a cage because you refused to let go.

sometimes the more you ask to stay, the more time and energy you waste.

also makes yourself trapped in an emotional quagmire.

it is better to let go freely, not to embarrass others, nor to embarrass yourself.

04

there is a saying in the ordinary World:

there are many moments when there is something wrong with our lives, but our mentality.

when you care too much, it will cause you pain.

when you think too much, it only puts pressure on yourself.

when you demand too much, you will bring torture to yourself.

when you don't take the initiative to look for trouble, there will be no trouble.

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