Although the circle is small, it is good to be comfortable.

someone on the Internet once asked, "Why do people have fewer friends as they get older?"

one of the most popular answers is: "first, because walking, the direction is not the same; second, because as you get older, you are no longer willing to give in."

time is like a huge net, slowly filtering out people from different paths.

and the older you get, the more you understand that friends do not lie in having many friends, but in having heart to heart with each other.

only like-minded people can walk side by side and understand the same scenery.

writer Su Cen also said: "at this age, no one wants to please anyone. You can stay with whoever you are comfortable with."

the rest of my life is not long, it is really expensive, and time and energy should be left to the right person.

01

barely gregarious, tired

I saw a question from a netizen on Zhihu, saying that his annual income was only 70,000, but his wife insisted that his son attend an aristocratic kindergarten.

the reason is to integrate children into a better circle, but the annual tuition fee alone is 50,000 yuan, which is really unaffordable at home.

for this reason, his wife quarreled with him, and he felt tired and deeply confused. "is the circle really that important?"

in the message area, there is a poignant comment: "the circle is indeed very important, but integrating into the circle that does not belong to you is the beginning of the tragedy."

netizen Tik was born in a working family, but her parents insisted on sending her to an "aristocratic school". During those years, she often felt extremely inferior.

it is not because of the intentional isolation of her classmates, but because of the huge family differences that make it difficult for her to fit in.

except for the activities organized by the school, she almost never goes out with other classmates.

even if someone asks for an appointment, she will find all kinds of excuses to turn it down, because their consumption level is not at the same level at all.

she didn't mean to keep up with the comparisons, just something she was used to in the eyes of others, but for her, she almost exhausted her strength.

the ancients said, "the aromatherapy is different, but the owl luan is not like the wing."

Don't squeeze into a circle that doesn't belong to you. Even if you force yourself to fit in, you're not the same person after all.

have you ever had such an experience:

obviously you already have other arrangements, but seeing that everyone around you is there, you force yourself to attend the dinner.

obviously it's a topic you're not interested in, but you can see that other people are talking about it so much that they have no choice but to echo a few words against their will.

because I am afraid of being alone or become an outlier in the eyes of others, I force myself to fit in with others.

but as the famous saying goes, "being unsociable is only superficial loneliness, but barely gregarious is real loneliness."

Elegant and striking, nobody should be without our homecoming long dresses. We are your one stop shop for a perfect choice.

every time you pander to others, you give up the position you hold in your heart.

you wronged yourself, pleased others, and ended up living the look you hate most.

Roman Roland put it well:

instead of treading on thin ice in the crowd, it is better to live a natural and unrestrained life, preferring to be alone rather than go against your will.

02

although the circle is small, it is good to be comfortable

there is a popular saying on the Internet: "although you have few friends, it is good to be sincere; although the circle is small, it is good to be comfortable."

when there are not many friends, the most important thing is to have heart to heart with each other. It is better to have two or three bosom friends than to make a nodding acquaintance.

CEO Xiao Yiqun, who listened to star education, shared one of his experiences.

said that when he first graduated, he always felt that the pursuit of success was to accumulate contacts quickly.

so whenever there is a dinner or party, he will be the best invitation and the most active one.

in order to meet more people, he became a trade university alumni association, drew dozens of WeChat groups, and quickly made thousands of great alumni.

for this, he was overjoyed and felt that he had a strong circle.

but later, when he encountered difficulties in his work, he contacted these so-called contacts, only to find that no one could really help him.

so he deleted those so-called contacts overnight and withdrew from more than 60 WeChat groups.

since then, he no longer deliberately pursues so-called connections, gives up all ineffective social activities, and begins to focus his time on his career.

but as his career rises, more and more powerful people will come to meet him on their own initiative.

the ancients said, "A daughter is easy to get, but a bosom friend is hard to get."

No matter how speculative it is at the wine table, it may not be true to lose heart. Those who lend a helping hand in times of crisis are true friends.

too many complicated relationships are just self-depletion.

reduce unnecessary socializing so that you can spend your time and energy on more valuable things.

when you have enough value, your contacts will come uninvited.

A person's maturity begins with learning to socially break up and simplify his circle of friends.

because behind the simplification of social interaction, there is a kind of courage that is fearless, lonely and not afraid of the eyes of others.

the happy actor Li Yang once said:

my circle is so small that I know who is looking for me as soon as my cell phone rings. Outsiders may think I am lonely, but I don't mind at all, because it is far more comfortable than hypocrisy.

people will probably meet 8000 people in their lifetime, but very few people really understand you and really treat you with all their heart.

the secret of happiness is to give up ineffective socializing, streamline your circle, walk with people of the same frequency, and get along with people who make you comfortable.

03

Real friendship, there is no need to curry favor with

In the TV play Dear self, Zhang Zhizhi often makes desserts for them in order to get closer to the "elite wives" and remember the tastes and preferences of each wife.

take the initiative to do party planning and actively participate in every gathering of the wife group.

she is usually frugal and only willing to carry a free delivery bag of 58 yuan, but every time she has afternoon tea with her wives, she spends nearly 2000 yuan.

even if she only orders a free glass of lemonade, she will split the cost of nearly 400 yuan.

in spite of her efforts to please, the elite wives never regard her as a true friend.

not only kicked her out of the group chat, but no one came forward when she was bullied, but taught her a lesson instead.

when she cried helplessly by the roadside, the eunuchs were indifferent and let her make cupcakes tomorrow as if nothing had happened.

I have heard a saying: "any relationship that makes you work hard to maintain is wrong."

wishful giving can never get back your heart, and relationships that require you to cater to them are, after all, difficult to maintain.

all hard work is forced; true friendship never needs to be fawned upon and deliberately managed.

there used to be a popular word on the Internet called "no responsive friendship".

means that real friends don't have to chat or keep in close contact with each other, but it doesn't affect the relationship between them.

you are still thinking about each other all the time, send messages when you want to, and don't care whether they reply or not.

even sometimes, someone suddenly disappears while chatting.

but next time, we can talk again without embarrassment or worry.

like Carina Lau and Faye Wong, who have known each other for more than 20 years, Carina Lau once said in an interview that they don't have to talk about anything even if they ask out.

sometimes you just sit in a daze and sit still for a day, but you never feel embarrassed.

there is no more comfortable relationship between people than this: get along comfortably, warm without words, never get tired of chatting for a long time.

04

walking with comfortable people is the best way to keep in good health

some people say:

there is no need to be sad for those who are separated, but only those who can stand the precipitation and test of years are sincere and true feelings.

there are already too many difficult things in the adult world. For those relationships that make you too tired, you might as well give up!

there is no need to squeeze people who are not on the same channel, and there is no need to humble those who do not take you to heart.

three thousand fair-weather friends are not as good as three or two bosom friends to understand you.

the rest of your life is very expensive. May you walk with people who are comfortable, have heart to heart with people who understand you, and have a good time every day!