Anyone who looks for a reason from himself in advance

I have heard a saying that in this world, the strong are good at finding reasons from themselves, while the weak are used to looking for reasons from others.

so over time, the gap between the two people becomes apparent.

at first glance, I think this sentence is very reasonable.

people live a lifetime, rely on self-knowledge and self-examination, everything from the self, can solve many problems in life, but also can dispel many troubles in life.

does everything have to be treated this way? Look down with me.

01

people are self-aware

once heard a story about a boy who was extremely good from an early age.

when I was a child, I was always in the top three of the whole school. I performed very well in the college entrance examination and was admitted to a good university, but I was repeatedly frustrated after work. I was either excluded by my colleagues or disliked by the leaders.

when asked, he is used to writing pride on his face most of the time.

relying on the fact that his family is well-off, he is dismissive of his colleagues who bring meals to the company.

think that they have excellent academic qualifications, so they secretly crack down on other colleagues with low academic qualifications.

I even accepted a younger brother and helped him run errands to buy coffee every day.

after a long time, he didn't make any achievements in his work, and almost everyone in the company was offended by him. After

, because no one wanted to work with him, he had to leave the company secretly.

Laozi once said:

the translation is very simple:

recognizing others is a kind of wisdom, and knowing oneself clearly can be called holy wisdom.

speaking of this, I think of Ren Zhengfei.

as president of Huawei, he usually shows people with a low profile, flying cheap economy class and eating ordinary box lunches.

remember that when Huawei was a startup, the company had only one car, and Ren Zhengfei would give it to the customer whenever there was a conflict between receiving a guest and his car itinerary.

this is true both externally and internally. For skilled employees, he not only offers high salaries, but also creates good enough working conditions for them.

in an interview, he said:

others say I'm great, but only I know myself. I don't know anything about technology, management and finance.

my advantage is that I am good at introspection, reflection, like a sponge, good at absorbing the strengths of others into their own thoughts, logic, language and behavior.

in fact, life is like this. People who are self-aware and good at introspection will always be favored by the people around them.

they are humble and low-key and seldom complacent about their achievements. on the contrary, they know their own weaknesses and learn from the strengths of others. Over time, success is only natural.

02

find the reason from yourself, and you can understand

when you think about it.

our ancestors said:

it is also of great significance to put it up to now.

saw a video of a girl working as a waitress in a restaurant.

on my first day on the job, I accidentally broke a cup.

the lobby manager wanted to deduct it from her salary, and the girl pouted her mouth and retorted, "it's not my fault that the cup was too slippery on my first day."

less than a month after taking the job, she ordered the wrong food for her guests, and when she was criticized again, she still beeped: he spoke too fast, I didn't hear you clearly, and it's not my fault.

on one occasion, when the girl's relatives came to spend money in the store, she ordered the order from behind without the manager's consent, and gave the relatives a big discount when she paid the bill.

when asked by the manager, she disagreed: they are all my good friends, and I can't be impersonal.

the manager said nothing more, but his disappointment with her was aggravated by this incident.

whether it's a daily mistake or a violation of rules and regulations, she can always find ten thousand excuses for herself.

in fact, it's not just her. I don't know if you've found it. It's the case with many people in life.

when I make a mistake, the first thing I think about is not how to correct it, but how to throw off the pot and push the responsibility out of myself.

if the work is not done well, the company is unreliable.

if the relationship is not good, there is something wrong with my colleagues.

if there is something wrong with his personality, he blames his original family.

even many people, when they are upset, vent their emotions on people close to them and complain endlessly.

as a result, it is not only unable to change the status quo, but also deepens the contradiction with the people around it.

I like a sentence very much:

find a problem in yourself, it makes sense;

find a reason in others, and you go crazy when you think about it.

the rest of our lives are still long. May we all learn some skills in dealing with the world, change our attitude of looking at problems, and start from the inside.

it is a rare accomplishment for a person to find the cause of everything from himself first, to find and solve the problem.

03

is not your own reason, so don't worry about

, but finding problems from yourself doesn't mean you have to criticize yourself for everything.

is my own fault, try to correct it.

it's not my fault. Let yourself go.

people often say that nine times out of ten there are unpleasant things in life.

ignores the fact that people don't have to be perfect in everything in their lifetime.

saw a video about a Google engineer who moved to Silicon Valley in the United States after working in Korea for a few years.

she said: she wants to see a bigger world and doesn't want to be a frog in a well.

unexpectedly, life in the United States is far from being as successful as she imagined, but the fast-paced work and the worry and panic it brings.

because of the excellent sideThere were so many people that she set a higher standard for herself.

it turns out that I am far from as good as I thought.

as a result, my mind began to get sick. First of all, I felt that I would be laughed at no matter what I did.

No longer dare to go out or see anyone, even if he plucks up the courage to go out, he can only hide in the bathroom and parking lot.

followed by physical abnormalities, she began insomnia, overeating, and in the end, it became difficult to breathe.

at that time, she gave herself a 0, she said: I am a piece of garbage, I am useless.

it was her psychiatrist who pulled her out of her remorse.

she kept telling the engineer: it's not your fault.

eat more because your body needs energy.

feel anxious because you want to be a better person.

so you have to learn to stop torturing yourself, don't magnify the pain, and don't think about things that don't exist.

in this way, the engineer slowly emerged from the negative emotion.

in fact, there are moments in our lives when some people feel that they are not working hard enough and some people feel that they are not beautiful enough.

keep digging up your shortcomings and wondering if you are useless.

ignores the fact that life never has to haggle all the time, nor does it always have to have a sword hanging over its head, let alone satisfy everyone.

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sometimes, it is also an ability to let go and accept your own shortcomings.

04

it's really important how you see yourself and how to deal with problems when you are alive.

learn to treat people and things humbly and look at things from a different point of view.

when something happens, it is your own problem to find the reason from yourself. Try to improve it, not your own problem. Just laugh it off.

doing things with this state of mind can not only make your life smoother, but also calm your restlessness.

there is still a long way to go in life. May you have the courage to take a step forward and take a step back. May you have a future to go to and years to look back.