Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
A few days ago, a mother complained for herself on the Internet.
she said: "the child was bullied at school. I asked her to find the reason from herself and not always put the blame on others. Is it wrong?"
the daughter told her mother that she was isolated by her roommates at school and that her roommates were still picking on her.
but the mother thinks that her daughter thinks too much and doesn't care about it at all.
my daughter was depressed because of bullying, but the mother said:
"I don't believe it very much."
she thought it was just her daughter's moan.
and often warn your daughter:
"Don't always think that others are wrong when you encounter things, often it's your own problem."
my daughter often quarrels with her because of this.
the child already feels that communicating with her parents is a second harm to her, and the whole person falls apart when she mentions it.
some netizens said: "if I have such a mother, I will be depressed, too."
A child, even his own mother, cannot stand and protect her unconditionally.
is there anyone else in the world she can rely on?
some people say that the most vicious thing parents have ever said to their children is:
"A fly does not bite a seamless egg, but a slap cannot be clapped."
Xiao Ai, a classmate, suffered deeply from it.
in the sixth grade of primary school, Xiao Ai was transferred to our class by his parents from the countryside to the city.
at that time, Xiao Ai was dark, thin and silent.
the little prick, who often takes the lead in making trouble in the class, looks at Xiao Ai as if he had found his prey, teasing her and bullying her every now and then.
once, when the school mobilized teachers and students to do a thorough cleaning, several students grabbed Xiao Ai, who was working hard, while the teacher was not paying attention, and asked her to wash the rag.
Xiao Ai bowed his head and squatted silently at the edge of the bucket rubbing the dirty cloth.
as a result, those people suddenly pressed Xiao Ai's head into the water, and the panicked Xiao Ai choked several mouthfuls of water.
some students are not used to telling the teacher that the teacher informed the parents.
thought Xiao Ai's mother would stand up for her, but her mother's first sentence was to question Xiao Ai:
"did you get into trouble at school?"
Xiao Ai said cowardly, "I didn't."
Mom didn't believe it at all, but also stared at Xiao Ai and said:
"one slap can't make a sound!" Otherwise, why don't they bully others, just bully you? "
Xiao Ai, whose hair is still wet on his cheek, turned pale when he heard this, and tears pounded out of his red eyes.
after that day, Xiao Ai became more silent. Later, when she was in junior high school, she was still the object of bullying.
the mother may not know that her light sentence "one slap does not make a sound" is a stab in the child's heart.
the TV series "Little willing" has a scene in which Huanhuan joins hands with his classmates to crowd out the isolated Mi Tao with excellent grades.
Mi Tao was so aggrieved that she was so helpless that she could only turn to her parents for help:
"Huanhuan bullied me at school."
when the mother heard this, her first reaction was to ask her child:
"Huanhuan is not your good friend, how can she bully you?"
she told her mother earnestly:
"she didn't answer when I handed out exercise books, but she deliberately made trouble when I was in charge of discipline. if she continues to do this, other students will certainly be influenced by her. They all think I'm easy to bully. What if they come to bully me?"
but my mother thinks Mi Tao is not sensible.
even my father questioned Mi Tao:
"Why doesn't she bully others?"
parents speak plausibly and firmly, and their children have nowhere to complain about their grievances.
A child who originally needed protection from his parents was pushed into the abyss by his parents.
A psychiatrist summed up such a phenomenon from his case:
being bullied, bruised and frantic for self-reflection, most of them stem from the wrong treatment of parents in childhood.
netizen Xiaomi, is now a college student.
obviously she is full of vitality and hope, but she says that her life is full of inferiority complex and uneasiness.
because growing up, no matter what she complained to her mother, her mother would only give her:
"Why do you always blame others, why don't you blame yourself?"
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when she was in junior high school, a classmate accidentally hit her water cup on the ground.
the beloved cup, which she had saved for a long time to buy, broke into countless pieces.
the classmate said a little awkwardly:
"Sorry, I didn't mean to, but you can't blame me, who told you to put it on the table casually?"
if the cup is not on the table, is it on the floor?
however, as a victim, she felt aggrieved and could not help finding fault with herself at the same time.
"it's obviously not my fault, but I'm still wondering what I did wrong."