Every time I want to know you better, we have more distance.

yesterday someone yelled at me, "can you not let me waste my time guessing what you are thinking?" I realized that we still had great defects in our communication skills, because before the other person said this sentence, I spent an hour thinking about how I could express my thoughts so that I could express my intentions without making the other person unhappy. So we swam in the garden for an hour, and finally both sides understood incompetence.

recently, I have no intention of randomly going to "shall we talk". The combination of "Lin Xi + Eason Chan" is really cute. No matter what stage you are in, which emotion you are in, you will jump out in time like an old friend and tell you, "Hey, don't worry, this is such a truth."

since childhood, living in a simple and rough family environment, the way to solve problems every time is quarrel and cold violence, high decibel. Smashing things, slamming the door, the most irrational emotions, the most vicious words, thinking that whoever is tough enough to stab each other will win. Often when the battle ends with the silence of one side, we wake up and say, "Oh, my God, what did I just do?"

someone told me that our biggest mistake is to leave the worst temper to the people closest to us.

We are eager to solve problems through communication, but we are not used to solving problems through communication.

Sprite is a good friend who used to be bored with each other every day, and there are a lot of misunderstandings in the process of cooperation, no matter who is right or who is wrong. When I realized there was a problem, I went to the other party. "I think we have a lot of problems recently and we need to talk about it." As a result, Sprite was clearly entangled to death, but she replied to me: "Ah?" What are you talking about. What's the problem? "

when I blew up, I asked her, "you don't think there's a problem, do you?" I'll only talk to you once. I won't get a chance if I don't talk about it this time. You figure it out.

in the end, we came out in the open, which not only solved the problem, but also had a better relationship than before.

if you don't talk about something, you will always have a knot. Maybe you think it's all right. I swallowed it a little bit, but I can't. The next time there is another misunderstanding, the knot will only be constantly superimposed or expanded. In the future, you will take a magnifying glass to see every detail and every behavior of the other person, and one day it will explode in your stomach.

I used to be a very desperate personality. to what extent do I die? That is, I don't say when I'm in a bad mood, I don't say if I'm angry enough to explode, I don't say if I'm dissatisfied, I don't communicate with each other, but I obviously keep my distance from each other in action.

-"what are you doing?"

-"nothing."

to tell you the truth, if I were who I am now, if I met me at that time, I couldn't help thinking about her.

I don't know if you have ever done such a thing, but in fact, I know that our starting point at that time was not to say how angry I was or how small-minded I was, because we always felt that we could accept all the faults of each other. We thought that time could solve the problem, and we were not sure that we would be able to maintain the original relationship after opening up, but, "what you thought was wrong." what makes you think you don't talk about it? The other person can guess which lightning spot he stepped on you? What makes you think that if you think you are wrong, it must be his fault, but you are not wrong?

there used to be a super buddy luca, who joked infinitely every day. Both sides were indifferent and careless. He always felt indifferent. Anyway, no matter what I said, he would not be angry. But I thought I wouldn't be angry, just because I didn't hit the lightning point yet.

everyone should have a lightning spot that can't be stepped on. My lightning point is that I can't be misunderstood. Once a trumped-up charge is covered, the whole person will explode in an instant.

the other day luca joked about an unintentional move I made as, "you came here on purpose to see xxx." I quickly sank my face in front of everyone, and never spoke again. When the other person realized that he had apologized to me several times, I ignored it. When I digested the whole thing, I was angry. I don't know how the misunderstanding got out of hand, and how did it end in the end? That is, we never got in touch with each other again, and then he went abroad and would probably never see each other again.

although I have put it down now, it is hard to avoid thinking occasionally. If I had not been too indifferent at that time, but made myself clear, I would not have done so now.

Dachen has been having a cold war with his girlfriend for more than half a month. Recently, his girlfriend asked him, "do you know that my attitude towards you suddenly changed some time ago?"

Dachen said, "well, I wondered at that time. I didn't know if I said something wrong or did something wrong, and I couldn't figure it out during this period of time." I asked, and you said it was okay, so I stopped asking. But I'm glad you're asking me this now, which means you want to solve the problem. "

every time I ask "what are you doing" and the other person answers "nothing", I will not ask again. Your "thing" is already written on your face, and I am willing to respond with "nothing" + smelly face when I ask you. It means you don't want to solve the problem at all, or you think you have the ability to solve two people's problems alone, or you think the problem is big enough to split is the only solution.

once said such an emotional remark to a friend, "can you tell me anything in the future? I have a lot of things to do every day. I am very busy and annoyed. When I return to my comfort zone, I have to think about how to carefully maintain the relationship with everyone. I did my best. I tried my best to do every detail of everything. If you grasp the shortcomings that I really don't notice, can you tell me, as my friend, as me, instead of covering it up as if nothing happened, and then impose cold violence on me so that I have to guess ten times harder? "

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beforeLike persuading that friend I will reason with them and tell them that it will always be a knot if the problem is not solved. But now I understand that it's all for children.

as an adult, if you don't want to communicate or solve something, you draw the 38th parallel like a pupil, you complain to a third party, and you complain in your moments. If you prefer any of the above ways, you don't realize that you want to communicate the problem most directly with the person concerned, so what's the difference between me and taking care of the child?

it's like "it's rare to sit together, so why should we be taboo and naked?" I don't think we are familiar enough to talk to each other, and I don't think there are any topics that we can't communicate with each other. I will only say these words to you once. If you are still like this for the second time and the third time, I am sorry, I may not have the energy to maintain it.

it also makes sense for a team. Why do so many group assignments end up tearing up? Apart from the fact that some people don't have enough sense of responsibility, isn't it more because you don't communicate enough?

in the past, it was just me and Zhang Jingju. later, I joked with Tong c that the former editor was the kind of authoritarian who liked to make his own decisions, and then I was the kind of person who said, "as long as you don't ask, I will be silent", and we seldom communicate.

but as there are more and more people in the team, you will find that if you want to progress, you want to make progress with everyone, it is impossible not to change and communicate with each other, we have more and more in-depth conversations and contacts. These communications have made each of us willing to get better for the sake of a group.

gradually, now that Zhang Jingshi is no longer so "dictatorial", he will discuss with us all his decisions. I am no longer so "silent". If I have an opinion, I will directly tell them, "what you are doing is wrong."

A few days ago, I had afternoon tea with Bauhinia and Tong C. in a Hong Kong-style cafe, I asked them, "do you think we know each other now?" Thorns said, "I think I'm finally getting to know each and every one of you." At that time, I stirred the mandarin duck in front of me with a spoon, and Tong c distributed the cut Sidox to my plate. At that moment, I felt a great honor. We finally knew each other better, and there was no distance.

if you have listened to "shall we talk" carefully, you will know that Lin Xi talked about "drinking soup" three times, namely, when he was a child, he "would rather hide in the park than eat soup", "the lover is on the verge of breaking up and only dares to eat soup" after work. "the child is very busy in the company and doesn't need soup."

if you are from Guangdong, you should know that "eating soup" is actually an extremely important thing. Because the closer we are, the more difficult it is for us to say "I miss you" directly to each other. My mother is very cute. she always talks to me in a casual tone every time she calls me, because she thinks I should call her instead of her.

every time I talk on the phone, I always tell my mother about her old hot soup. In fact, I am homesick.

Last night my mother asked me, "Don't you go home even on May Day?"

I said I still have some work to do here, so I may not be able to go back.

she said to herself, with a bit of "resentment" against me: "can't you even go home and have some soup?" If you earn that kind of money, you might as well go home and eat better, otherwise how can you have the strength to work? "

I know I can't say more than her: "all right, why don't you go back and drink your soup?"

if I go home tomorrow and take the bus, I will be a fool, so I turn on the Uber of my phone to see how much it costs from school to home. With the popularity of taxi-hailing software, I found that the distance of family affection can be measured by money.

it costs me 55 yuan to get home from here.

but Dongguan Uber has recently launched a special offer. From now on until 23:00 on May 2, you can enjoy a 70% discount by taking a taxi with Uber, with a minimum discount of 7 yuan. (Dongguan area only)

the bus is so time-consuming that Uber knows to drink the soup while it is hot.

with Uber, there is a lot of distance from home, but the distance between heart and heart seems to be a little closer.

Family, friends, couples, teams, grievances are inevitable, but communication will not make "want to know you better" into "pulling distance".

many years later, when NetEase Yun re-opened "shall we talk", he saw a sentence in the selected comments: when the skill was tired and his mind was exhausted, he began to miss himself who could talk well. Silently click the 561st like.