Familiarity does not exceed the rule, is a person's greatest self-discipline.

the relationship between people is complex and delicate.

if you are too distant from others, you will isolate yourself; if you are too close to others, you are prone to conflict.

as the ancients said, "A man is not as good as a thousand days, and a flower without a hundred days of red."

that is, once a relationship reaches the point of intimacy, it is often difficult to last.

so, how do you make an intimate relationship last?

then you need to set a bottom line.

01

No matter how familiar we are, we don't say anything harmful to each other

when we are in an intimate relationship, we tend to be "not mean" to each other, thinking that we have a close relationship, so we can keep our mouth shut.

as the saying goes, "a good word warms you in three winters, but a bad word hurts you in June."

the power of words is great. Maybe the other party is embarrassed to fight back because of the consideration of the relationship between the two parties, but if such words are said more often, no matter how intimate the relationship is, it will become cool and thin in the verbal harm again and again.

We often mistakenly think that the "bad words" we say will not be taken seriously and will not be harmed by the "bad words" because of the closeness of the relationship.

in fact, no matter how intimate a relationship is, "bad words" will not turn into "good words". Their lethality may be reduced, but they will also suffer more and more injuries over time.

the intimate relationship of "respecting each other as guests" certainly has a sense of distance, but the relationship that is so close that it loses the bottom line is bound to break down.

only by maintaining a close relationship of respect and bottom line can it last.

02

everyone has their own independence and has their own things to do.

when we need each other's help, don't take it for granted and force each other to meet our needs.

people's troubles mostly come from expecting too much from the people around us, always feeling that the other person should meet some of our needs.

once the other person says no, we feel depressed and even angry.

in fact, why should this be necessary?

We will be relieved when we understand that no matter how close the relationship is, everyone is still an individual, and the other person has to take good care of himself before he can take care of others.

the relationship of "blending milk and water" can only be temporary.

A relationship, if it really reaches the level of "water and milk blending", regardless of you and me, then, before long, this intimacy will suffocate both sides and want to escape.

only keep a distance, distinguish between you and me, what you can do, what you can do, what you can't do, but also give each other appropriate space, give each other the right to refuse, and do not force each other to help us.

in this way, an intimate relationship can last long.

regardless of each other's situation, forcing each other to treat our affairs as their own will only overwhelm the other and finally choose to leave.

03

sometimes love hurts.

Why is this the case?

it is because we think we are close enough that we try to replace each other's judgment with our own judgment.

No one knows, "Honey of A, arsenic of B." What we think is the best may not be right for each other.

as the ancients said, "do not do to others what you do not want to do to others."

but for intimate relationships, "inflicting what you want on others" is also a sign of hurting others.

We should let go of our excessive "enthusiasm" and give each other enough space.

when they need us, we are on call;

when they want to do things on their own, we turn around to mind our own business and not disturb each other too much.

when the other person has something in mind but doesn't want to say it, we don't have to ask too enthusiastically;

when they want to talk, we are the best listeners and are willing to give the best advice.

such a "distance" intimate relationship is the most comfortable.

"Tiger life is still near, but people are too familiar to be close to each other."

people, the more familiar they are, the more likely they are to rely on intimacy and "act arbitrarily", which eventually leads to discord.

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A person can still respect each other and have a sense of boundary when the relationship is intimate. It is a rare self-discipline. Only in this way can the intimate relationship last for a long time.