Family way (good article in depth)

as the saying goes, "the family of morality is more than ten generations."

what kind of moral inheritance can make a family and even a family more and more prosperous?

Jin Ying, a scholar in the Qing Dynasty, wrote the best answer in his book "the combination of maxims".

it is difficult for families that can keep the following five families to prosper.

01

diligence and thrift, the foundation of running a family

in A Dream of Red Mansions, the Jia family is rich, a royal relative, and has great wealth and power.

but passed on to future generations, the descendants of the family were greedy for pleasure, and their food and clothing expenses were extremely extravagant and wasteful, and eventually fell.

as the saying goes: if you are diligent, your family will get rich; if you are extravagant, you will not be rich for long.

luxury is like a dose of delicious poison that corrupts people in sweetness, but raising an extravagant descendant is enough to lead to the decline of the whole family.

only by being industrious and thrifty can we be content and cherish what we have gained.

Zeng Guofan, an important minister of the late Qing Dynasty, insisted on making a living with diligence and running the family with frugality.

he has only one dish for each meal, and his life is very simple and never extravagant.

Zeng Guofan also taught his family to be industrious and thrifty:

in order to urge his family to be frugal, he stipulated that all the women in the family should spin cloth, even his wife.

in order to cultivate the hard-working habit of his children, he asked them to get up early, sweep the house, clean the table, collect dung and mow the grass every day.

it is precisely to adhere to this style of thrift, in that treacherous era, the Zeng Guofan family can take root and last forever.

Zeng Guofan knows very well that it is better to teach people to fish than to teach people to fish. Simply deliver the family business, it is better to give them the quality of diligence and thrift.

after all, you can be happy only if you know how to cherish it.

only through diligence and frugality can you be stable all your life.

02

Heshun, the foundation of the Qi family

educator Kimura Jiuichi said: the family should be the temple of love, joy and laughter.

Qian Zhongshu and Yang Jiang's family have always been praised by the world, mostly because of their tolerant and harmonious family atmosphere.

once, the couple took their daughter Qian Ju out to dinner, but she always looked at the next table.

it turned out that the couple at the next table were quarreling fiercely. After the quarrel, they faced each other coldly and said nothing.

pity their children, just sitting there, looking at their parents sadly.

seeing this, Qian Zhongshu Yang Jiang said to Qian Zhongshu:

there is a saying in Zhu Zi's Family motto: "the family is in harmony. Although the family is not good, there is also Yu Huan."

days are trivial, with teeth touching the tongue and pots and bowls touching spoons.

No matter how close the relationship is, contradictions are inevitable. You might as well be more tolerant, care less, discuss big things, and forgive small things.

only when families respect and love each other and live in harmony can we tide over the difficulties and take a long-term road.

as Yang Jiang wrote in "the three of us":

"We help each other and bear the difficulties together, so the difficulties will no longer be difficult."

"No matter what is bitter and hard, you can become sweet; if you are a little happy, you will become very happy."

03

be cautious, protect the foundation of the family

Life is like a big wave sailing a boat, people in the bow, not careful, is the destruction of the ship and the death of people.

how many family troubles come from careless choices.

this is the case with Jiang Nansun's father in the Golden years, which has just been broadcast.

he is the only son of the Chiang family. He has a rich family and excellent children, but he never does anything in a down-to-earth manner and always takes a "gamble" attitude.

when people reach middle age, they still take risks and choose to invest in the stock market. As a result, their daughters are scattered and their lives collapse.

coincides with the old saying: "Don't be ashamed of your parents, create don't harm your children."

if you don't obey the rules, it is your parents who are ashamed. If you are not careful in starting a business, it is your children and grandchildren who will do harm to it.

finally, he could not bear the pressure and jumped down from the tall building.

A happy family takes only one wrong step and falls into the abyss.

there is a saying in the Night talk around the stove: "people who are happy are those who have no choice but to do their part."

this share is a person's greatest wisdom.

can you not afford to be greedy, not delusional, and do not expect a life that you cannot reach? only in this way can you feel at ease and enjoy the happiness you deserve.

the same is true of a family.

take care to sail a ship for ten thousand years, and nothing can be more secure than to be careful.

the best way to avoid disaster is to think carefully about everything, not to bet on the happiness of your family, and not to make risky choices.

04

for a family, there is no better habit than reading.

Reading is not the only way out, but it is the fairest way.

Fan Zhongyan came from a poor family and lost his father at the age of two.

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he remarried with his mother, was ridiculed from an early age, and vowed to stand on his own feet.

from a poor boy with nothing to a later generation of famous officials, he changed the fate of himself and the whole family by reading books.

Fan Zhongyan wrote "training Children's language" and talked seriously about the importance of reading:

once, his elder brother Fan Zhongwen asked Fan Zhongyan to give his children a back door.

Fan Zhongyan refused and offered only two caveats:

"first, he urged the children to study hard and make them study hard every day, so that they must not let them muddle along and muddle along.

second, let the children understand that only if they have something to learn, they can.He became an official and made some achievements. "

this may seem impersonal, but it shows the children of the Fan family a bright way.

under Fan Zhongyan's education, all the descendants of the Fan family worked hard in their studies, and most of their descendants were famous ministers and good friends, which became a good talk and was admired by the world.

the family is rich and noble, but only after three generations, poetry and books can be handed down for a long time.

Reading is not only a person's developed capital, but also a driving force for the prosperity and rise of a family.

05

loyalty and filial piety, the foundation of the family

the ancient sages said: "parents are our first blessing."

as the saying goes, those who reap what they sow, the better they are to their parents, the greater the blessings and favours.

in a cultural forum, a lady asked such a question:

the teacher did not answer the question: "do you want your family to live well?" Do you want your child to be all right? "

the lady nodded.

the teacher said earnestly:

"if you can take good care of your parents, your children must be smart and worry-free. They are all descendants of filial piety.

treat the elderly in front of your children and talk to them, eat and drink well and provide for them.

when you cook a meal every day, you tell the child to give it to your grandparents first.

if you think about it, the old man today is who you are tomorrow.

when you get old, your children will say, "Let your parents eat first, won't they?"

after saying this, the teacher sighed again:

"many people go outside to find teachers to teach their children, but they do not realize that the really good teachers are their own words and deeds."

the lady suddenly woke up.

there is a good saying: if you treat your parents twelve taels, your children and grandchildren will give you back a whole jin.

parents are the roots of a family. Only when the roots are watered can rich fruits grow.

if the parents show filial piety to the elderly, the children will look at him and regard him as an example. This is the "fatherly son Xiao".

what kind of education you have, what kind of virtue you have.

so handed down from generation to generation, the greatest blessing is that the elderly care for their children, the children show filial piety to the elderly, parents care about their children, their children accompany their parents, the whole family and beauty are the greatest blessings.

06

there is a sentence in "the first lesson in Life":

"Family style is not a textbook, not a classroom, not a parent's ear, not a waving stick."

but it, like air, has a lasting penetration and is often more influential than other tangible means of education. "

A good tutoring style is a family's most valuable asset.