Find the reason for everything from yourself (deep good article)

"Zuo Zhuan" said: "people who have no mistakes, mistakes and can change, the most good."

what is your first reaction when you make a mistake?

should you pass the buck to others, or do you often think about your own mistakes and look for reasons from yourself first?

know that when you point at others, there are three fingers pointed at yourself.

the most taboo thing about being a man is to always find fault with others and forget your own responsibility.

on the contrary, there is a kind of advanced self-cultivation, which is to reflect and bow from time to time and not to blame when something goes wrong.

01

the more incompetent people are, the more likely they are to criticize others

Shen Juyi, a scholar in the Qing Dynasty, once said, "the stupidity of life is bad news of one's own faults, and the worst evil of life is good talk about other people's faults."

it is foolish of such a person to refuse to listen to his own mistakes but always find fault with others.

everyone carries two baggage on his way of life, one pretending to be his own fault, the other pretending to be the fault of others.

but many people often put other people's mistakes on their chest, and they can see them as soon as they look down, carry their own mistakes behind them, and easily ignore them.

once read a short philosophical story.

on one occasion, three mice agreed to steal oil to eat, and they planned to take turns drinking in a stacked posture.

but as soon as the top mouse climbed up, the oil bottle was accidentally knocked over. They were frightened and ran away in panic.

when they returned to the nest, the three mice began to shirk their responsibilities.

the top mouse said, "I knocked down the oil bottle because the mouse in the middle moved."

the mouse in the middle said, "it was the bottom mouse that suddenly trembled and affected me."

the bottom mouse said, "I think I heard a cat barking outside, so it alarmed me."

if our first reaction is to criticize other people's mistakes and shirk our own responsibilities when we encounter problems, this is a typical "mouse mentality".

there is a saying in the Analects of Confucius: "the villain has no fault, but the gentleman is often wrong."

means that the villain always thinks that it is someone else's fault, while the gentleman often reflects on his own faults.

the more incompetent people are, the more picky they are, and they habitually look for reasons from the outside to cover up their own mistakes.

while examining yourself more and understanding others more, it is not only a cultivation rooted in the heart, but also a rare wisdom and pattern.

02

asking inward is a very high realm for a person.

Mr. Lu Xun said: "I do dissect others all the time, but more often I dissect myself more mercilessly."

the better people are, the better they are at dissecting themselves, and they are more likely to look for reasons from themselves.

they know that only by inward attribution can they grow outward and surpass themselves in the past.

I believe we have all done such an experiment:

cast a beam of light on the wall of the room, then put your hand in front of the light source, and the shadow of your palm will appear on the wall.

if you want to change the shape and size of the shadow, can you do it directly on the wall?

obviously not, you can only change your gestures.

as the Koran says, "if the mountain does not come, I will go there."

people who ask inward for reasons from themselves mean that they are thinking about changing themselves rather than blaming others.

at that time, Wang Yangming first founded Xin Xue, which was attacked by many people as heresy.

his disciples complained indignantly, "they don't understand the teacher's theory, so they make comments at will."

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Wang Yangming said, "We haven't done enough!"

after

, Wang Yangming began to vigorously promote the interpretation of mind, and more and more scholars advocated it and gradually competed with orthodox Neo-Confucianism.

there is a good saying: "blame others to ask yourself first, forgive yourself first."

instead of complaining, it is better to seek inward and find reasons from yourself in order to broaden the pattern and get out of the predicament of life, and become more and more powerful in a reflection.

03

not blaming is the highest accomplishment of a man.

the British writer Maugham has a famous saying: "to make a person show his essence, asking him to take responsibility is the most effective way."

when you encounter something, it is the first step to look for the reason from yourself first.

what is more rare is to have the courage to admit your mistakes and take the initiative to take responsibility. This is a person's highest self-cultivation.

once read a story.

one day, a mother took her son, who was just in kindergarten, to buy fruit.

when his mother was choosing fruit, his son felt very bored, so he secretly picked the peach in front of him with his hand. When he got home, he shared this "interesting story" with his mother.

after hearing this, the mother took her son by the hand and went back to the fruit stall without saying a word.

if I really saw a lot of peaches that had been scratched, I bought all these peaches after explaining the reasons and apologizing to the boss of the fruit stall.

the son was very confused. The mother explained, "if we break other people's things, we should be responsible for our own actions. We should buy them home. We should not waste them. We should eat them all."

in the next few days, there were peaches on the table, and my son ate miserably.

the mother's lack of education is wrong, the son is wrong to damage other people's things at will, and everyone has to pay for his own mistakes.

from beginning to end, the mother did not blame her son or shirk her responsibility, but used her own actions to teach her son what responsibility and responsibility is.

the really strong people are not afraid of things, are good at self-reflection, seek solutions to problems, and take the initiative to take responsibility.

those who are responsible are upright, sit upright, have no lack of backbone, and have a lot of ambition;

responsible people stand up straight, walk far, have confidence in heart, and have righteousness in mind.

when something happens, if you don't blame it, you are responsible to yourself, to others, to society, and to a person's highest self-cultivation.

A person who does not take responsibility and will only pass the buck is doomed to go for a long time.

if you want to make a difference in your life, you must understand the truth of what you do and what you don't do.

blame others less, examine yourself more, dare to take responsibility, be sober, act magnanimously, and live up to your conscience.

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