I just need a flashpoint.

text /eel whale Tong c

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I am so anxious

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@ eel whale

everything just needs a flashpoint. In 2006, my grandfather was very ill. I followed my father to buy oxygen tanks in the morning. When I came back, I watched everyone shuttling and crying in that room. Then they told me to go in and call Grandpa. They told me that he was dead. I heard a lot of cries. I went over and patted them on the shoulder as a sign of comfort, as if the person had nothing to do with me. Soon I changed into filial piety clothes, I went to the funeral, I went to the wake, but I didn't shed any tears, but a week after the funeral, I burst into tears at the station because I couldn't catch the bus.

should be very annoying recently. Annoyance has become an iron rule at this time in each semester. I haven't been home for three months, everything is on the same node, all accidents happen at the same time, and all emotions accumulate on the same line. every trivial thing may make you explode, miss the bus, fail to write, review, stand up, friends make a joke … Even if the supermarket doesn't have the yogurt you're used to, forgetting to bring shampoo in the shower can be the tipping point, but is it serious? Actually, no.

it's hard to pretend to be happy, it's hard to cater to creating an atmosphere, it's harder to deal with complicated relationships, everyone loses their temper if they want to be upset, put on a bad face if they're unhappy, or put everything off and find a place to stay quietly for a few days. But to this day, I also know that I am not the center of the world, and it is not based on your emotions to determine whether the world works or not. So no matter how upset I am and how hard I have to go tonight, I can only go downstairs and blow a cold wind, drink an ice cola to wake up, and go on with my work when I come back.

because, other than that, nothing can be done.

@ Tongc

recently depressed to explosion, what is even more depressing is that I don't know why I am depressed. I feel that both the weather and human beings are suffering from a disease called "speechless".

I'm going to tutor the students as usual this afternoon. I pointed to the question and said, come on, do it here. His eyes did not catch up with the tip of my pen, and I said, where are you looking? But he said coldly, "that's how my grandmother died." I followed his line of sight to see the tumor article on page 81, and suddenly I dared not speak. Maybe it's because he gave me the impression that he was an ignorant child, so I didn't think that there would be serious memories in his heart. I asked carefully, "how old were you then?" "six years old." "are you sad?" "I was young at that time, but I didn't miss these things until I grew up." when I was glad that the advantage of being "young and ignorant" helped him avoid the heartache of parting, he added, "my grandfather passed away last week." I was suddenly stunned again, surprised at the calmness of his expression. I thought I was not sad because I was not familiar with each other, at least not on my face. "how is your relationship with him?" "it's fine."then you're not sad?" But he said to me that I think beyond the post-00 calm and EQ words, "people can't be so sad all the time."

in the course of his exercises, I thought about whether I had magnified my emotions, or whether I felt that there should be significant expressions and visual inner changes in the occurrence and parting of certain people. Whether this idea does not apply to all people, or only to myself.

because I have never experienced any absolute farewell, I don't know how to really grieve and understand. I don't even dare to think that if the most important person I love the most will leave that day, I choked up several times with hot tears to make a useless roar.

"how to say goodbye if there is no tomorrow."

I suddenly found that one more topic in life is how to control my emotions after parting.

cold-blooded?

do I have to be reasonable?

I don't know.

@ Zhang Jingshi

yesterday we were asked backstage: "how do you have inspiration to write every day?"

I didn't reply to him, because in these two days, I couldn't write anything.

I remember what CCTV said in an interview with Wang Jing. Although he made a lot of bad films, it is understandable that he also created a nonsense film era. In the interview, the host asked Wang Jing how to count as "professional" in their industry.

Wang Jing stopped smiling in that second and said:

"someone just died in your family. I told you to write a comedy, you have to write a comedy that makes people laugh to tears. This is called professional

so anxiety is not an excuse for being unprofessional.

keep writing.

the author introduces

Tong c, Manjing, Zhang Jingshi

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