Your life won't be any easier.
there is no such thing as
the great Annie, a new cartoon recently released is about how girls become emotional step by step in a relationship, become dependent on others, become dependent on others, lose self-gain and loss, and may end up losing a good relationship.
during the summer vacation, Q told me that she often remembered how childish and pretentious she used to be. Just like the common fault of all girls, she needed to use Wechat text messages and phone calls all the time to prove the existence of sense of security. She will be paranoid as long as she doesn't get back in a second; she will guess the other person's idea from the Wechat message, but she actually thinks too much. Even if her boyfriend likes and comments on other girls, she will be jealous. The result is also without warning, boys can not stand such "must come back in seconds", "no contact with other members of the opposite sex", "to introduce our relationship to everyone" and other requirements, they broke up.
when I forwarded the cartoon to her, Q said, "if I had known this before, maybe we would still be together." What I wanted to tell her but didn't tell her was that Q's ex-boyfriend said to me shortly after they broke up: "I still like her, but I don't want to be with her anymore. I'm so tired."
if, ah, Q really knows that emotional and over-dependence will make the other side of the relationship feel uncomfortable and may even break up, then Q will still do this to her boyfriend at that time. But that night I was thinking, this can only be a false proposition, after all, this truth is known after Q lost a relationship, how can she have personal experience before she lost it. Even if she was told or even proved to her by examples, it would be in vain.
if you haven't experienced it, you won't understand.
"if I had known that squeezing acne would leave a pimple mark, I wouldn't have squeezed it before"; "if I knew it would cause cavities if I didn't brush my teeth at night and it hurt, I would have spent five minutes brushing it every night"; "if I knew the number of scales would embarrass me, I wouldn't have eaten fried every meal before." If I had known the difference between college and college, I would have studied hard.
just like if I knew that the score of the college entrance examination was only two points from my first choice, I would have done the English cloze question 15 correctly.
in the car two months ago, my mother asked me, "if you didn't fail in Chinese in the college entrance examination, you can be a heavy student."
I said, "Don't tell me if or not. In my definition,\'if\ 'can only exist in the future, and there is no point in mentioning the changes of the past."
all "ifs" are the most empty fulfillment in the world.
not long ago, there was an article about thorns going back to their hometown on National Day, because his grandfather died the day before that day. One of the details I remember was that the mother of the thorns burst into tears on the way back and asked herself, "Why don't you wait one more day?" there was a sentence in the article, "Don't keep your family waiting for you, because some things are uncertain." I am a very lucky person, at least so far, because I have never experienced the departure of my relatives and friends, I have never felt the same way as him, and I do not understand his truth. Some readers in the comment area also told the story of him and his grandmother, and let him know what "cherish" means. I don't think I can, and many people can't, because we don't empathize.
speaking of this, I suddenly think of the Star in the Deep Sea,
"there is no such thing as empathy in the world. If the needle doesn't hit you, you won't know the pain."
Why am I impressed with the incident of Malaysia Airlines MH370 on March 8, 2014? I even remember that it was Saturday, and vista magazine reported it on the following Wednesday, with a dark gray-blue cover and the word LOST. Because this incident taught me a sentence, a very old-fashioned saying, "you don't know which one will come first tomorrow or accident, so you can cherish who is by your side right now." After carefully reading the pages of the report that afternoon, I was in a state of shocked. I couldn't help screaming and crying, because I couldn't understand why those people didn't do anything wrong, but they just died. And before this, I sincerely believe that good will be rewarded with good, and evil with evil. After this incident, I began to accept the theory of fate, believing that everything was meant to be, and I didn't know which day an accident would happen to me or my family or friends, so whenever I had a chance to get together, I took a deep breath in joy. I have to remember each other's existence in this moment and remember the laughter in this moment, because I am afraid I will not have time to say goodbye.
I don't want to wait until that day comes before I say to others, "if I had known this, I would have cherished the old days."
before, I heard the phrase "live in the present", "be content" and "cherish the present". We can only go in one ear and out the other. after all, everyone will say these old truths, but I think you will understand "experience" only when you have experienced it. I will take this word apart. "body" is the so-called practice. "will" in order to gain experience, if it is someone else's tough dogma to instill you some truth, you can only have "heard a lot of truth, but still not good life." Such a feeling; and the real truth, you experience, you will understand.
there is such a sentence on Zhihu. I wrote it down in my diary:
Life never beckons and says, "Boy, let's be reasonable." Life will only beat you to the ground with a big mouth and say, "stupid, watch and learn".
We live to experienceThere is no reason for you to "know this and walk your way better." all your experiences, whether suffering or bright, are like a process of decocting traditional Chinese medicine, stewing and collecting juice little by little in a fine fire. until the last three bowls of water condensed into a bowl of bitter tea, this is the real "good medicine bitter taste".
experience, don't just listen to reason.
after all, it is the experience that makes people grow up, not the years.
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