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in China, it is particularly difficult for children to grow up. Parents want their children to be absolutely obedient, which in itself is stifling their children's nature.
Children are not the personal belongings of "who belongs to". Only by respecting the nature of children can children grow up healthily and happily.
beat and scold children
some people think that it is impossible to cultivate excellent children without beating or scolding.
however, beating and scolding itself is not advisable. it may be able to get the child's temporary compromise, but it cannot really be accepted by the child.
if parents beat and scold a child when he makes a mistake, the child will not only fail to realize the mistake, but will also be aroused to be rebellious.
if parents beat and scold their child when he is naughty, the child will no longer dare to be naughty, but he will also become silent and withdrawn and afraid of his parents.
parents' beating and scolding not only can not make the child obedient, but also may make the child become timid and cowardly.
nowadays children have poor independence, mainly because their parents do everything.
parents are afraid that their children will take up too much time in doing their homework, so they help them directly.
parents worry that their children will not adapt to school, so they go to school every day to learn about the situation.
parents are afraid that their child will be cheated, so they won't allow him to leave the house.
parents' anxiety, impatience and lack of independence are depriving their children of the opportunity to be independent and becoming more and more dependent on others.
Children will go to society one day, and it is impossible for parents to protect their children all their lives.
parents' beloved son has a far-reaching plan for it. To make the child a better person, we should let him grow up and not miss the best period of independence.
"other people's child" may be a treasure in the eyes of parents, but it is a thorn in the child's heart.
Children are naturally sensitive, no children do not want their parents to like them, and no children like their parents to compare themselves with others every day.
parents who talk about "other people's children" every day do not know that they have already hurt their children and strangled their children's most unique nature.
A child who is strict with himself may force himself to become "someone else's child". Although he has become excellent, he is no longer what he used to be.
for children who have no demands on themselves, they are very disgusted with their parents' comparison, may deliberately go against their parents, and do everything contrary to "other people's children", so they become worse and worse.
other people's children, in fact, just like our children, do not blindly compare, please be sure to wait for the flowers to bloom.
put an end to adventures
Children want to go out, parents are worried about the danger of going out, so parents do not allow it; children want to learn swimming, parents are afraid that their children will drown, so they do not allow it.
for fear that children will get hurt, put an end to children's adventures and attempts. This kind of education, which gives up eating for fear of choking, is destroying children's nature.
Animations such as the King of the Sea Thief are loved by children precisely because they represent the spirit of adventure and the dream of exploring the world.
every child is full of infinite curiosity about the unknown world. Only by satisfying the child's curiosity and encouraging them to explore and discover can they broaden their cognitive world and become stronger in challenging themselves.
for learning, many parents firmly believe that the best way is to learn by rote.
there is no problem in learning a poem, you can always memorize it 30 times; you can't do a problem, and you can memorize even the answers to 30 similar questions.
although rote memorization is also a learning method, blindly rote memorization can make children lose interest in learning and even hate learning.
good grades cannot be forced. We must first find a learning method that is suitable for the child, so that the child can concentrate on his study at his own pace.
otherwise, no matter how many books are memorized, as long as he does not know how to use them well and flexibly, it is tantamount to a white back.
Learning in advance
at present, advanced education has become the mainstream of education. Many children have to learn English, learn Mathematical Olympiad and participate in various interest classes and training courses when they go to kindergarten.
in order for their children to win at the starting line, parents are demanding more and more of their children, but they have not considered whether they can accept them or not.
once there were children who committed suicide because of too much pressure, while others became "giant babies" who could not be independent or take care of themselves because they only knew how to learn.
Yu Minhong said:
Learning needs to be done step by step, and only by learning appropriate knowledge at the right stage can children absorb it better.
every child has 100,000 whys, but not every parent has the patience to answer these 100,000 whys.
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when children ask parents "why", some parents may be busy, or impatient to deal with, casually deal with the child or simply drive the child away.
when the child is disassembling the toy, some parents think that he is doing sabotage and reprimand the child loudly, causing the child to give up the heart of exploration.
the curiosity of children should be well protected. Parents' reprimand, perfunctory, impatience, and refusal to respond are all directly strangling their curiosity.
as long as parents do not stifle their children's curiosity, their children's potential for knowledge can develop smoothly.
traditional parents set happiness for their children to pursue fame and fortune, which is better than others all their lives.
therefore, they tragically invented repressive education: it doesn't matter if you hate me, as long as you have something to do.
but they don't understand, that isIt is very painful for children to prosper in the future, but always hide their resentment and regret towards their parents.
Children who have been beaten by their parents since childhood always feel that everything they do is wrong, do not know what to do, and do not dare to do it again.
parents think their blow is understated, but for their children, their mental wounds are salted again and again, and their confidence and self-esteem are dragged down again and again.
if you really love your child, don't hit him in the name of love. Sow the seeds of love and self-confidence in your child's heart.
it is the nature of parents to protect their children, but overprotection will stifle their children's nature.
fear of injury and frustration will make children lose the opportunity to try and challenge, as well as the ability to communicate.
if parents are considerate of their children in everything, the children gradually lose the ability to cultivate their own independent decision-making in the "comprehensive" protection of their parents.
Children will become submissive, timid, afraid of things, afraid of interacting with others, reticent, and lack of autonomy.
it's none of your own business
when a neighbor is stolen, caught on fire, or something bad happens, the parents ignore it, but don't notice the worried look on the child's face.
when it is reported in the news that someone has been cheated or hurt, the parents make a cold mockery, but do not notice the child's desire to speak.
parents' words and deeds are profoundly affecting the formation of their children's world outlook, outlook on life, and values.
if you always turn a blind eye to everything around you, the child will think that indifference is right and worry about everything.
very often, if you lend a little help to others, you can plant the seeds of kindness in your child's heart, and be more objective and rational in evaluating things, so that your child can know the world and others more accurately.
parents' every behavior should cultivate their children's love little by little. Parents are the best teachers for their children.