Knowing full well that it is self-cultivation not to ask, but to see through it is wisdom.

have you ever met such a person?

when you know that someone else is divorced, you have to ask, who made the mistake first?

when I see someone wearing a fake nameplate, I always deliberately ask, where did you buy it?

knowing that others have something difficult to say, they still have to discuss it in public.

think you are very clever, but in fact you just lack self-cultivation.

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there is a good saying: "knowing that not asking is self-cultivation, seeing through without saying is wisdom."

keeping silent when others are embarrassed is a person's greatest kindness.

01

knowing not to ask is a kind of kindness

Zhihu netizens @ have fully shared their own experience.

when she first came out to work, she shared a house with her friends, got along well with each other, cooped up on the couch and watched movies after work, and bought food and cooked together on weekends.

later, full of long-distance boyfriend came to her city, in order to live with her boyfriend, hesitated again and again, or decided to move out.

but unexpectedly, in less than a month, she found ambiguous information about each other and other girls on her mobile phone.

after a quarrel, I broke up angrily, packed my bags and left.

when she dragged her luggage awkwardly to find a friend, guilt and sadness welled up in her heart for a moment, and tears kept falling before she could speak.

my friend picked up her luggage, and before she could speak, she asked, "I'm so bored living alone recently. Did you come back to accompany me?"

after many years, she said with emotion that she was very grateful to her friends for accepting her at that time, but what made her feel even more warm was that she didn't ask her why she came back with her luggage.

in real life, everyone has some hard times to talk about.

to get to the bottom of everything is tantamount to making things worse for others.

people who are really smart tend to be quiet.

knowing not to ask is to avoid embarrassment, but also a kind of kindness to push yourself and others.

No one is easier than the other in the adult world.

everyone has their own wounds, so why rush to open other people's scars?

instead of asking questions, it is better to keep quiet.

I have heard a saying:

do not ask more questions, because it is not easy to understand you and maintain your self-esteem warmly.

leave a space for others, but also leave a little respect.

02

it is wise

to read such a sentence:

to see through and not to speak is the real way to deal with the world.

writer Gan Bei once shared such a story.

in high school, the father of a female classmate worked as a security guard in a bank.

out of adolescent sensitivity and inferiority complex, every time this female classmate is asked about her father's occupation, she always lies: "Dad is a clerk at the bank counter."

in fact, everyone knows it, but no one has ever cracked it.

once, when several classmates went to eat Spicy Hot Pot, her father came head-on, wearing a security suit.

the female classmate was instantly ashamed and stood in the same place with a face full of embarrassment.

at that moment, a girl suddenly said, "I want to go to the supermarket. Would you like to join us?"

without waiting for her to respond, he pulled her in the other direction.

Ganbei wrote: "in this way, we have a tacit understanding to protect the girl's fragile self-esteem for three years."

when we get together again many years later, the girl has already come out of her adolescent inferiority complex and talked openly about her father's career, thanking everyone for not exposing her at that time.

there are lies just to keep your fragile self-esteem.

it is an instinct to see through and want to expose, but to be able to know without saying is a person's real self-cultivation.

born human, never rush to tell other people what to do about their lives.

maybe one of your choices protects a sensitive and fragile heart.

A truly wise person will never take it short to his face, making it impossible for people to step down.

because they know that not everything can be discussed.

everything is considered from the point of view of others. If you are more considerate, you will be less reckless.

03

the best accomplishment is not to embarrass others

before, I always thought that I really cared about a person and needed to express it in words.

it was only later that it was discovered that a knowing smile without asking is better than asking questions at the wrong time.

Runwu's silent rescue is better than asking for warmth with enthusiasm.

the author @ Nange once told such a story.

Dad repeatedly mentioned his experience of eating in a restaurant.

that day, an old man sat beside him.

after dinner, the old man is going to take the bill to pay.

but I suddenly found that I couldn't find the money. I felt all over my body, but I couldn't find my pockets one by one, and I began to get anxious and uneasy.

the restaurant owner came over and said, "Uncle, what's wrong?"

the old man said at a loss, "the 50 yuan in my pocket." I lost it. "

after hearing this, the boss pretended to be surprised and said, "A guest just found 50 yuan to deposit with me. Did you drop it? here you go."

then he took out a 50-yuan bill from his wallet and gave it to the old man.

but in fact, the 50 yuan bill is the boss's own money.

Dad every timeWhen it comes to this matter, he always praises the boss for doing a good job.

but I said disdainfully: "not for 50 yuan, if I were the boss, I would directly waive the cost of this meal."

Dad shook his head and said, "what matters is not the 50 yuan and the cost of the meal, but that the boss knows how to leave others with dignity and take care of their feelings."

some time ago, a steamed stuffed bun shop owner in Zhengzhou, Henan Province, made a heart-warming move, which moved netizens.

in order to allow migrant workers who come to dinner to eat one more steamed stuffed bun, the boss deliberately broke the steamed buns.

when the migrant workers saw that there was one more steamed stuffed bun than they bought, they told the boss, "Boss, you took it by mistake and gave you one more."

the boss said, "that's right. This bun is rotten and can't be sold. Take it and eat it."

when the migrant workers heard what their boss said, they happily took the steamed buns to their seats to eat.

if you give intact steamed buns directly to each other, it will inevitably make people feel sympathetic.

A small detail of the boss warmly protects the self-esteem of others.

in the journey of life, no one can always go smoothly, there will always be troughs.

it is a rare thoughtfulness to be able to see through other people's embarrassment, but not to make a loud noise;

to be able to carefully detect other people's difficulties and help silently is a person's kindness deep to the bone.

there is a saying: "the real concern is not the superficial warmth, but the temperature of those details."

always believe that being able to avoid embarrassing others is a person's highest self-cultivation.

you don't have to say everything to know people, and leave a bit of decency for others.

help others without publicity, learn to compare your heart to heart.

share with my friends.