"Mom, can I play with my phone?" Your answer determines the future of the child.

"Mom, can I play with my phone?" Your answer determines the future of the child.
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many parents report that the most common thing their children say to themselves at home is, Mom /Dad, I want to play with my cell phone.

different parents react differently to the same request from their children.

and most parents will answer their children, "then play for a while."

indeed, different responses from different parents to a child's request to play with his or her phone may determine the child's future.

Mobile phone is a double-edged sword. How to teach children how to make rational use of mobile phone is our eternal topic.

most adults can't resist the temptation of mobile phones, let alone children!

before, an American psychologist published his decade-long research results, which is shocking.

the scientist selected 100 children from lower-middle-class families across the country 10 years ago and divided them into two groups.

50 are children who do not have access to mobile phones, and 50 are children who are obsessed with mobile phones. And then follow them up.

Ten years later, the results of the survey are as follows:

of the 50 children who are obsessed with mobile phones, only 2 have been admitted to college.

almost all of the other 50 children who did not play with their mobile phones were admitted to college, and only three children chose to help at home after graduating from high school.

16 of these children who were admitted to the university won full scholarships to the school.

A test by the University of Clermont Ferrand in France shows that when children use mobile phones, their brains absorb 60% more electromagnetic waves than adults.

recently, the Daily Mail pointed out that children's use of mobile phones can cause memory loss, sleep disorders and other health problems.

Dr Gerard Kadu of the University of Warwick in the UK warned that radiation from mobile phones can damage the normal function of a child's nervous system, causing memory loss, headaches and poor sleep.


how do mobile phones destroy children?

smartphones affect children's health

smartphones harm children's eyesight, cause blindness or damage children's cervical vertebrae, and lead to cervical vertebra deformation. These injuries are tangible. Seeing is believing.

in addition, children who are addicted to smartphones often show a negative attitude towards exercise, resulting in low motor ability, which in turn affects the growth and development of children.

Mobile phones make children suffer from depression

some experts say that the more time they spend on mobile phones, the more they like people who stay at home, the higher the risk of depression. Children who often play with mobile phones are much more likely to suffer from depression than ordinary children.

brain nerve damage caused by mobile phone

the physiological structure and physiological morphology of children are different from those of adults. The electromagnetic radiation generated by radio devices such as mobile phones and tablet computers do much more harm to the nervous system of children than adults.

excessive exposure to electromagnetic radiation will have a certain impact on children's health and cognitive ability.

Children's learning is delayed by mobile phones

Children who like to play with mobile phones are used to the relaxed and pleasant information brought by mobile phones, feel noisy and boring about knowledge learning, and their academic performance is declining.

after being criticized, it is more necessary to find comfort in the mobile phone network. after forming a vicious circle, children gradually lose their thirst for knowledge and become tired of learning.

indulge in the mobile phone world all day, so you naturally spend less time and energy on study, and your academic performance is bound to decline over time.

it is easy to cause sleep disorders

as we all know, children's frequent use of smartphones can lead to vision loss, but what is even more frightening is sleep problems.

A health organization in California has conducted a survey on the effects of cell phone light and daily lighting on children's sleep.

put ten children into two separate rooms. Children in one house fell asleep within 28 minutes after watching TV, while children in the other room generally fell asleep after 39 minutes after playing with smartphones.

of course we don't advise children to watch TV before going to bed.

take a look at what measures have been introduced in France?

prohibit primary and secondary school students from using mobile phones in schools:

the new law stipulates that students are not allowed to use mobile phones in the whole campus and classroom.

according to statistics, the mobile phone penetration rate of students aged 12-17 has reached 90%.

banning mobile phones is one of the important measures put forward by Macron after Macron took office.

use the ban, but I hope parents will pay attention to it!

how to guide children to use mobile phones properly and prevent children from becoming too addicted to mobile phones?


Children of different ages should take different intervention measures

1-3 years old: try not to let children contact with mobile phones

the retina of young children can not develop until 12 years old. Before that, we should try to avoid exposure to mobile phone electronic products.

the more children who are exposed to electronic products (mobile games /TV) at the age of two or three, the more likely they are to develop attention disorder (such as ADHD) at the age of seven or eight.


parents try not to play with their mobile phones in front of their children, interact more with their children, and take the initiative to update their toys. Parents refuse to download any games on their mobile phones in case their children are addicted to games and ask for mobile games to play.

if the child is curious about the mobile phone, you can demonstrate to the child to make a phone call, send voice, take pictures, etc., so as to establish a correct understanding of the use of the mobile phone.

3-6 years old: try to keep their children away from mobile games

many parents occasionally leave their children to mobile games to "look after" in order to be quiet for a while.

but children between the ages of 3 and 6 are still young.Lack of control, once exposed to the game, extremely addictive.

therefore, children of this age can have appropriate contact with mobile phones, such as making children understand that mobile phones can make phone calls, chat with people, video, and other basic uses, but be sure to stay away from mobile games.


parents' and family members' mobile phones are used for entertainment, that is, to delete games, music, videos and other APP that will attract their children.

even if children want to play with their mobile phone, they won't find it interesting except flipping through photo albums and taking pictures. Naturally, they won't keep pestering their parents for mobile phones to play with. Actively cultivate children's reading habits and read more children's picture books with their children.

the color and storytelling of picture books are also more attractive to children. As long as children fall in love with reading, they basically don't want to play with their mobile phones.

enrich children's life experience, take children out to experience nature, and encourage children to make more friends.

7-12 years old: children of this age group should not be strongly suppressed in view of mobile phone problems. They have entered the second stage of psychological treason, that is, the rebellious period of children.

Children in the rebellious period have a strong sense of self-awareness and independence, and will become stubborn and bad-tempered. Sometimes when it comes to reason, their parents are speechless.

in the face of children's addiction to mobile phones, the common ways used by many parents are:

A strong pressure with parenthood (I said no more play means no more play, no food to eat /play will beat you);

the second is to threaten with parent-child relationship (I won't want you any more /I won't like you any more).

these two methods do more harm than good.

in the long run, it will not only seriously damage the parent-child relationship, but also increase children's dependence on and addiction to mobile phones.


negotiate with your child to specify the length and frequency of playing with your mobile phone as a rule that must be obeyed. If you violate it, you can undertake housework as a means of punishment.

parents should be aware of their emotions and motivations, and the goal is "children stop playing mobile games", not "children stop playing mobile games obediently".

allow the child to talk back, cry and other dissatisfaction.

parents should try to understand their children's feelings and positions. For example, parents want their children to finish their homework before playing with their mobile phones. Instead of saying "do your homework now", you should say, "I know this game is fun, but you must finish your homework first."

I'll watch you finish this round, and then you'll do your homework, okay? "

12-18 years old: appropriate intervention to guide children to make rational use of mobile phones

children of this age group are in the prelude to puberty, have a higher level of thought and cognition, and already have a certain ability of self-control and self-management.

parents should insist on proper intervention and rational use.

directly confiscate or yell angrily, or even beat up violently, are all ways to cure the symptoms but not the root causes.

Mobile phone is like a double-edged sword. It can hurt children, but it can also help children. The key is how to use it.


pay more attention to the psychological and behavioral changes of children and give them some personal space.

many teenagers are addicted to mobile phones because of sexual curiosity, parents can inquire and educate euphemistically.

such as teaching children some basic sex knowledge through Wechat, QQ or e-mail. With communication and trust, negotiate with your child to make rules for playing with your mobile phone.

such as whether you can take it to school, when you can play with your mobile phone, how long you can play at a time, what kind of punishment there will be if you time out, etc.

correctly treat the positive effects of children's use of mobile phones and guide children to make rational use of mobile phones.

for example, it is more convenient to read e-books on mobile phone, and to search for learning information on mobile phone.

after watching so much, many parents still have a headache when they really do it. How to strike a balance between parents being with their children and letting their children use electronic products?


three experiences

1. Before stipulating the time for children to use electronic products

, some parents asked, "the child has been playing with his mobile phone for a long time. If he is not allowed to play, he will cry and make a scene." what should I do?

this problem is also easy to solve, on the one hand, to regulate the time your child uses electronic products, and on the other hand, to remind him in advance of how much time he has left, so that he can keep his word.

We usually don't let Xiong watch TV, but we let him play IPAD for 10 minutes at a time, no more than twice a day, and when there are two or three minutes left, I will remind him and tell him how long it will take to prepare him psychologically.

Electronic products are very attractive to children, and 10 minutes have passed at once, so it is easier for children to remind the child in advance to give him time to prepare for the end.

of course, the length of time required to use electronic products does not have to be as dead as stipulated.

some programs last a little longer, 20 or 30 minutes, and it doesn't hurt to watch, but the total length of each day had better be no more than one hour.

as long as you keep this rule all the time, children will gradually get used to it, which is also good for cultivating children's self-control. After all, children have little self-control, and parents still need parents to help their children obey the rules in life.

2. Learn through electronic products

when children use electronic products, they can teach children the advantages of electronic products and let them learn new knowledge through electronic products.

for example: the map function of the mobile phone, once, during the evening rush hour, I had to take Xiong to a faraway place to listen to a concert, so I told Xiong to use Baidu Map to query the way to travel.

We both take the subway.Yes, on the way, at each stop, I show Xiong our real-time location on the map, get out of the subway and follow the navigation, so that the child can connect the information in the electronic products with real life.

in addition to map navigation functions, children can also learn practical functions that are closely related to life, such as photos, videos, weather forecasts, Wechat voice messages, and so on.

moreover, parents can help their children choose some educational programs.

for example, the animal world, you can watch it with your child, and ask your child from time to time what kind of animal this is and what that is, explain it to your child.

in normal times, read some relevant picture books and take the child to the zoo, then all the information received by the child from different sources will be combined.

3. Find an alternative to electronic products

some mothers say that their children feel bored without watching TV or playing with their mobile phones, and they don't know what to do.

therefore, in addition to using electronic products, it is very important for children to cultivate some hobbies and arrange rich entertainment activities:

for example, learning to draw, learning to play chess, etc., which need to be practiced every day. It can also cultivate the child's concentration and patience;

or take the child mountain climbing, swimming, let the child exercise wholeheartedly.

there are also parent-child reading and parent-child games, which are all beneficial activities that can help children's comprehensive development. How about

? It feels good!

as long as parents think more, their children will gain more!


the companionship of parents allows children to see a bigger world

long Yingtai said: "play is the foundation of learning between heaven and earth."

the best parents are the ones who are best at playing with their children.

take the child for a walk, travel, and read a lot of books. The child will observe the insect dwelling, birdsong and grass dew in nature, perceive the beauty of mountains, sea, clouds and fog, and broaden his horizons and mind in the book.

since childhood, children who have been naturally irrigated, infiltrated by the humanities, and infected by the smell of books, have their own interests and have their own big world in mind, how can they indulge in mobile phones and other electronic products?

it is said that education is not only about the financial resources of parents and the aura of children, but also about the cohesion between parents and children.

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good parents love their children, listen to them, and guide them, rather than throwing them a cell phone.

A small mobile phone often hides the philosophy of being a parent, as well as the future of the child. May the parents encourage each other!