Never expect too much of anyone.

there used to be a question on the Internet: what is the secret of happiness?

the highly praised answer is, never expect too much of anyone.

I think so.

We always think that if I am good to others, they should treat us equally.

do not realize that people's hearts are not things that can be exchanged equally. No one has stipulated that they should be rewarded if they receive good intentions.

once we begin to expect from others, it is the beginning of disappointment.

so, if you want to live an easy life, don't expect too much of anyone.

01

Don't overestimate your relationship with anyone

Xiaomi is a mixed circle in moments.

on weekdays, whenever I have time, I either drink with this friend or socialize with that friend.

call it a good name: it is easy to walk when there are many friends.

I don't know if the road is easy, but I often hear Xiaomi complain.

Xiaomi used to know a supervisor in a large factory, and he met and dined with that supervisor at several dinners. Therefore, everyone said that the supervisor had a good relationship with him.

later, Xiaomi was fired from the company because of his work mistake. He immediately contacted the supervisor and asked him to help introduce him to a job.

however, the message was lost.

Xiaomi grumbles in moments: "I treat XXX as a friend. I just ignore people when I need help."

there is a follow-up to this story. I wonder if someone forwarded that moments to the supervisor to see.

when the supervisor saw it, he said directly, "who is this man? I don't know him."

in interpersonal communication, many people have the illusion that they have a good relationship with others and that they should help them.

everyone knows that there is a kind of interpersonal disaster, which is called overestimating the relationship with others; there is a kind of self-affectionate, you treat others as friends, others just regard you as passers-by;

you think you have deep feelings for each other, but others regard you as dispensable.

treat the relationship with others correctly and never talk deeply about each other.

in communication, pay attention to emotional balance, keep distance, keep moderation, and be yourself.

time will tell you who is really worth it.

02

the higher the expectation, the greater the disappointment.

some time ago, my aunt got married.

the sweet aunt before marriage quarreled with her sister-in-law every day after marriage, and in the end she ran back to her mother's house crying.

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Grandma asked her, "what big thing happened, so serious?"

Auntie said that he had obviously promised to go to Europe for the Spring Festival holiday, but recently his sister-in-law came up to her and asked her if he could change Europe to Sanya.

hearing this, my aunt was unhappy.

when we agreed to go to Europe, why did we go to Sanya at a discount?

Grandma asked her, "Why don't you go to Europe and change to Sanya?"

Auntie said that the benefit of my sister-in-law's company is not very good this year, and the year-end bonus is likely to be gone, so I changed it to Sanya.

when she knew the whole story, grandma began to persuade her aunt, "how big a deal do you think? is it important for you to go out to play, or is it important for the people who go with you?"

without waiting for the aunt to answer, grandma said first, "of course, the person who goes with you is important." Moreover, when his income is decreasing, he will accompany you to Sanya, which shows that he has you in his heart. "

"they are all in their twenties, so why do you expect all your hopes of going to Europe to him alone? He'll be tired, too. "

"lowering excessive expectations is the secret of a happy marriage."

there is a sentence in "disqualification in the world":

the higher the expectation of a person, the more disappointed you will be.

lovers are supposed to support each other and share the relationship.

when placing all expectations on one person, it will make yourself and others very tired, and the relationship will be crushed to pieces sooner or later.

when you don't put your expectations on others, you find that life is full of unexpected pleasures.

03

there is a kind of happiness in the world, called giving up

when I was a child, my family environment was very tense.

because my mother is a Virgo, she wants the whole family to live according to her expectations and be very demanding.

for example, she asked my father to take the second-class builder's certificate, so that the family would have an extra income;

she asked me not to be lower than the top 10 in the grade, otherwise I would be disqualified from going swimming at night;

and my mother had a bad temper. In those years when I didn't get the certificate, I personally saw my father "take the blame" and kneel on the clothes board to calm my mother's anger that iron could not become steel.

whenever I recite words crazily at this time, for fear that my monthly exam score will fall beyond the 10th place, the feather duster punished by my mother will fall on me.

under my mother's high-handed "rule", my father and I formed a small suffering alliance.

when my father is in trouble, I will save him a meal;

when my grades go down, my father turns a deaf ear to my mother.

the end of such days is in the sixth year of taking the second-class architect exam, and my father has not yet passed the exam, even the worst score in history.

my father was so scared that he was shivering. Unexpectedly, my mother didn't lose her temper when she heard the result. Instead, she took me and my father to a restaurant for a meal.

my father was even more scared and thought this was the last meal my mother had with him.

later, my father couldn't help it, so he asked my mother, "aren't you angry when I take the exam?" What kind of medicine do you sell at this point?

my mother said faintly: nothing, forget it, give up. I won't force you to take the exam any more. It took me six years to see that you are not the material at all.

my father was relieved and laughed with delight.

since this incident, I have found that the atmosphere at home has changed, and my mother no longer forces me to do anything.

once, I asked curiously how my mother had figured it out.

she smiled mysteriously and said, when I gave up on your father, I suddenly found a lot of advantages in him and made me feel a lot happier.

later, I applied this kind of "giving up" to every aspect of my life and found a completely different world, where the wind was soft and the clouds were clear.

I immediately want to applaud the mentality of "giving up".

it turns out that there is a kind of happiness in the world, called giving up.

Liao Yimei once said:

when we no longer place excessive expectations on others and give up the desire to transform others, we find that the world is already sunny.

and most of the troubles in life are caused by the failure of expectations.

everyone has their own life, you can't ask others to live according to your expectations, friends, lovers, family even more.

04

there is a saying in the incredible of Life:

never overestimate your position in the hearts of others, let alone expect too much from anyone or anything.

once we have high expectations of others, we fall into the quagmire of worrying about gain and loss.

when others meet your expectations, you are happy; if others do not meet your expectations, you are lost.

the key to happiness is already in your hand.

I have heard such a saying:

Don't overestimate any relationship and don't expect too much of anyone is the way to walk in the world to protect yourself from harm.

May we have a strong dependence on ourselves over a long period of time, and we can get what we want.

in the world, live in a sober and independent manner, with no disappointment to others or debt to yourself.