Please tell your children: to get married, try to find these three families.
Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
Marriage is a major event in a lifetime, and who you marry is directly related to a person's happiness index for the rest of his life.
people often say that "marriage depends on family circumstances" and "marriage is a perfect match." it seems to be an old idea, but in fact it makes sense.
before marriage, through the partner's family situation, we can see the possible problems in life after marriage.
as a parent, you must tell your children:
Slip into the super charming in our formal dresses for flat chested girls. Always our pleasure to see you getting your desired garments.
get married and try to find these three families.
A well-matched family
in the popular TV series "the Golden years" some time ago, the heroine Jiang Nansun was well-off and was born with a golden spoon.
and his first boyfriend, Zhang Anren, although tall, handsome and talented, is a Phoenix man from a poor family.
all Jiang Nansun wants is love. She was pampered from an early age, and her family is not short of money, so she doesn't care about Zhang Anren's family situation.
but father Chiang disagrees with his daughter being with someone who is not in the right house.
in a fit of anger, Jiang Nansun did not hesitate to cut off his long hair and destroy the precious violin, so as to resist his father.
in Jiang Nansun's mind, love is paramount, and the rest doesn't care. She disobeyed her parents and chose to be with Zhang Anren without hesitation.
but this kind of love is quickly broken by reality. With Jiang Nansun's father going bankrupt, Zhang Anren also exposed the mentality of the Phoenix man living cautiously.
when Jiang Nansun's family had an accident, everyone was helping her, but Zhang Anren, her nominal boyfriend, shunned it. She even refused to lend her father a house for fear that it would affect her reputation and life.
the love between Jiang Nansun and Zhang Anren is like an unexpected encounter between a princess and a poor scholar. After a beautiful romance, all the gory reality is in front of us, and the two are doomed to go their separate ways and cannot go to the end.
looking at the ending of Jiang Nansun and Zhang Anren, I can't help thinking of what Zhu Suosuo said when she advised her to seriously consider marrying Zhang Anren. As expected:
"when you are in love, you are poor, strange, weak, hesitant, arrogant and arrogant. These all seem to be distinctive advantages.
but once you live together, not necessarily. "
Women cannot get married, not because they are vain, but because they have an unbalanced state of mind.
there are always people who think that they are full of love and that the magic of love is infinite.
but love is not so indestructible, much less perfect.
Jane Austen said: "in marriage, it is absurd to think only about family means; it is foolish not to think about family means."
never overestimate love, different family conditions, differences in the concept of life, over time, will become the catalyst for the breakdown of marriage.
A truly happy marriage must be matched and evenly matched.
so please tell your children to look at each other's family before getting married.
the family where parents love each other
Xiao Hui and Ah Wen met on a blind date. Half a year after their blind date, they agreed to Ah Wen's proposal of marriage.
all the friends around her, including her parents, thought Xiaohui was too hasty and advised her to think more about it.
Xiao Hui is unmoved and believes that Arvin is a good match for herself.
Why is Xiaohui so confident in Ah Wen?
it turns out that on the blind date day, when Xiaohui was invited by Arvin to his house for dinner, she found that Arvin's father picked up food for his mother from time to time, and would carefully remove the fish bones and peel the shrimp.
immediately after dinner, he cleaned up the dishes and let his mother have a rest.
at first, Xiao Hui thought Ah Wen's father was just for show, but later she learned that this had always been their way of getting along.
the two have been married for 28 years, and they are as sweet as ever. One often cooks, while the other cuts vegetables and cooperates with each other.
at this age, they still walk and go shopping hand in hand like little lovers.
having been married for so many years, they seldom have red faces in disputes, and they are what everyone calls a model couple.
Xiaohui said that she is full of confidence in this relationship and firmly believes that A Wen, who grew up in such a family, will love himself as much as his father did to his mother, so that she can live an ideal marriage life.
facts have proved that there is nothing wrong with Xiaohui's choice. Ah Wen has always been very kind to Xiaohui, understanding her, loving her, and giving priority to her in everything.
psychologist Satya says:
from the pattern of parents getting along with each other in a family, you can see what the future marriage will look like.
imagine that if parents are at odds with each other, they will often quarrel and abuse. For a child who has lived in this kind of family for a long time, how can his views on love and marriage not be affected.
parents fall in love, which is the best style of a family.
so please tell your children to visit each other's house before getting married.
look at how his parents get along. If their parents love each other, they can be considered together.
if parents have a lot of conflicts, they must be cautious.
after all, marriage is a major event in life and should not be careless.
families with the same values
there is a hot question on Zhihu:
there is a big difference in customs and values between
and my boyfriend's family. Should we get married?
one of the answers is: if it affects the relationship between the two, don't get married. The three values are the bottom line, so it is recommended to be cautious.
A friend Tea and her boyfriend have similar family conditions, so they are a good match. They have a good relationship. They originally planned to get engaged at the end of the year. But some time ago, Cha Cha broke up.
Tea parents are enlightened and kind, and feel that when two people are together, they should be each other.Forgive me, support each other and help each other do what they can.
on the other hand, the boyfriend and mother feel that it is only natural for a woman to take care of the man, and every time she calls, she will remind Cha Cha to do housework and cook for her son every day.
my boyfriend's family extremely favors boys over girls, sweeping tombs during the Qingming Festival, and women can't attend, so they can only bring clothes to worship.
before they got married, the boyfriend's family indicated to Tea that he gave birth to a son for the first time, not only helping with him, but also rewarding him with 100000 yuan.
Tea said: "Love is one thing, whether it is suitable for marriage is another." If you get married, you are going to his house to be a babysitter or a fertility machine, or not! "
the values of the two families are completely different, and even tea's parents agree that she should break up after learning about the man's family situation.
Cai Yuanpei wrote in the cultivation of the Chinese:
is not a family and does not enter a family. What kind of parents, what kind of children.
Family atmosphere has a great influence on children.
because parents are the first teachers of their children, they will directly affect their children's character.
if the parents in a family are enlightened, qualified people with positive values, then their children will not be so bad.
if, like the parents of a tea boyfriend, they prefer sons over daughters, they want to take care of everything for their sons, and they are possessive, and their sons are not allowed to disobey at all.
growing up in such a family, people may become selfish, cowardly, do not know how to respect and love women, and have no awe for marriage.
what are you most afraid of in marriage?
the most fear is that the values are different and the habits are different.
only two families that are similar can integrate better. Those who are too far apart will only beat the eggs and eventually lead a life of chicken feathers.
so, if your child wants to get married, be sure to find a family with the same values.
Marriage is a very serious matter, entering a marriage, in addition to love, but also depends on whether it is appropriate.
families with different values really cannot get married.
Wu Zhihong, a psychological counselor, said in Why Family hurts:
"Love is constantly transmitted in this cycle, from our original families to our newborn families."
the way we get along with our lovers is also repeating the way we get along with our parents. "
Happy people repeat happiness, while miserable people repeat pain.
if you don't take a good look at each other's family and get married casually before marriage, you are likely to end up in failure.
Liu Tong said: "at first glance, it is just a favor. Whether two people can come together and continue to walk, it is more important to see whether the gears of the two hearts are in tune."
Marriage, the right two people, two equal families, can join hands to reach the other side of happiness.
as parents, please tell your children that they should try their best to find these three kinds of families when they get married:
being married is not an old idea, but a guarantee of happiness;
the example of parents who love each other will certainly extend to the next generation.
only two people who come from families with the same values can have the same soul.