Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
these days, I saw a special news and a special "dad".
Yang Guojun, a 40-year-old from Anhui, usually runs a small business in the town. There is a 13-year-old son at home who is obsessed with playing games.
as a father, he was worried that his children would lose their spirits in playing with things and would have nothing to learn in the future, so he began to move his mouth, beat, scold, criticize and educate his son.
but has no effect.
in turn, his son disliked him and asked him, "if you have the ability to learn some culture, why don't you go to college?"
being so stimulated, he decided to sign up for the college entrance examination. He could not pass the exam this year and continue next year. He "fought back" his son with practical actions.
when people reach middle age, they have already said goodbye to their student days, and it is not easy to pick up books and prepare for the college entrance examination like millions of young people.
however, the father, who appears to be "out of place" in the examination army, has won likes all over the network:
"too qualified this father"
"admire such a father"
"I really fight for my son".
although he used to nag and criticize his children and even use violence, like most parents.
but after realizing the problems in education, he dared to challenge himself and try to set an example to guide his children upward.
such a father is worth learning and deserves to be liked by countless parents.
it is often said that a good parent is better than a good teacher.
High-level parents are an important line of defense for their children's success or not, and what they do has a far-reaching impact on their children.
Family education is the most taboo for parents'"double standards"
A 5-year-old child in Qingdao can't help complaining when he sees his father playing with his cell phone:
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"you let us study every day, but you don't study by yourself."
in a crying tone, you can see how aggrieved he is.
in reality, many children are asked to put down their mobile phones to study hard while seeing that their parents' mobile phones do not leave their hands and follow them wherever they go.
maybe he is too young to say anything because of his parents' authority.
but with such undisciplined parents, how can children learn to manage themselves?
as Zhao Jinyun, a member of the Chinese people's political Consultative Conference, said: parents who browse their mobile phones all day cannot produce children who love reading.
it is not that the child is unenterprising and lazy, but that he does not have a good "frame of reference".
parents'"double standards" not only reduce their own credibility, but also backlog their children's inner discontent. Once they reach the limit, emotions break out at any time.
A 13-year-old boy in Guizhou alarmed the police because he was dissatisfied with his parents' efforts to stop him from playing games.
my father kept crying to the police:
my son has been addicted to mobile games for a long time, does not like to study, rebellious and mischievous, which is heartbreaking.
on the same day, when I saw my son playing with his mobile phone again, he casually scolded him and couldn't help hitting him.
I didn't expect my son to fight back and even hit him.
having worked so hard to raise such a "rebellious son", but also depraved without striving for progress, my father was really angry and annoyed that iron could not be made into steel.
but when the police asked the son about the cause of the fight, the son complained. He denounced that "Mom and Dad usually like to play mahjong and seldom spend time taking care of him."
I used to be disciplined by my parents and could bear it, but when I thought that my parents didn't care about him and beat him and scolded him, I couldn't stand it and hit my father back.
Professor Li Meijin once said in the Roundtable School:
"any performance of a child is basically the standard of his parents."
parents who are "strict with others and lenient with themselves" cannot raise excellent children.
successful education is treated equally.
parents should do what they want their children to do.
only by demanding oneself according to the standard of treating children, can education have credibility and discipline be strong.
A lot of education is useless
once upon a time, more and more people envied "other people's parents".
compared with "my parents", one day at a time:
other people's parents interact with their children, and my parents play mahjong on Douyin every day; other people's parents play mahjong every day;
other people's parents can only lie in the decathlon.
other people's parents talk gently and kindly, and my parents are as fierce as wild animals.
whether the parents are good or not, they are not self-motivated, diligent and diligent, and their children all see whether they are good or not.
do you remember the dad in Xiao Shi Di?
he looks easygoing and agreeable, but in fact, he is a "Neet" who only plays games at home and does nothing but lie flat.
Ziyou knows nothing about what he learns, likes and encounters every day.
even if he inadvertently learned that his son had been publicly humiliated by the teacher, he was angry again and was resented by his wife, so he immediately lost the courage to stand up for his son and walked away in frustration.
I would like to ask, how can a father who is so sloppy, independent and indifferent can give his son enough sense of security?
there is a line in the documentary Mirror:
if parents do not play their own role seriously and cannot provide a correct demonstration to educate their children, the child will have problems sooner or later.
in the program "Super Parental Master", Qiu Tian's parents did not know how to correct the problem that their 6-year-old daughter needed to be fed, so they came to ask teacher Lan Hai for help.
after a day of careful observation, Lan Hai found that the root of Qiu Tian's problem lies in his parents.
in families with three generations living togetherThe whole family is supported by "grandma" alone.
Qiu Tian's parents are like outsiders.
Mom looks at her cell phone and reads his favorite magazines, while Dad drinks tea leisurely, no matter what happens at home.
when it was time for dinner, grandma called for dinner, but Qiu Tian's parents remained motionless, neither helping to set the dishes nor asking Qiu Tian to come over for dinner.
as parents, they are worried that their daughter will not be independent, but in front of their children, they also rely on the care of their "grandmother". They only care about themselves and go their own way.
to this end, Lan Hai hit the nail on the head: if you want your child to be independent, parents must first learn to be independent, otherwise they will never change their child.
every behavior of the child reflects the education of the parents.
if parents do not attach importance to their own identity, do not face up to their responsibilities, and indulge themselves at will, then a lot of family education is doomed to be futile.
High-level parents are particularly "ruthless" to themselves
if their parents connive at their laziness and do whatever they want, their children will learn to do the same and give up themselves.
only when parents are strict with themselves can children learn to be strict with themselves.
Academician Zhong Nanshan, an anti-epidemic hero, said bluntly that in his own life, the one who had the greatest influence on him was his father Zhong Shifan.
my father doesn't talk much and doesn't like to preach the truth. He always focuses on his medical career and works tirelessly.
in his old age, my father had insufficient eyesight, but he still insisted on covering his sick eyes with one hand and flipping through the literature with the other, and spent four years writing great works that influenced future generations.
seeing his father's ruthless dedication to his career and his enthusiasm for studious pursuit, Zhong Nanshan was so encouraged that he decided to practice his father's medical heart.
now 84 years old, he has excellent medical skills, has made numerous outstanding professional contributions, and more importantly, his spirit of sticking to his post and fighting on the front line has inspired countless young people.
behind his excellence, it is his father's example and words, and what he steps on is the shoulder of the "giant" father.
as the saying goes, a tiger father has no son.
the children raised by parents who are demanding of themselves will not be bad.
six years ago, Zhou Yasong, who was over 50 years old, learned that her daughter wanted to take the postgraduate entrance exam. In order to ease her daughter's pressure on the postgraduate entrance examination, she specially retired in advance and accompanied her daughter to prepare for the exam.
after a nervous and careful preparation for the exam, she was successfully admitted to graduate school.
although my daughter unfortunately failed in the examination, under her influence, her daughter got her wish the following year.
four years have passed, and Zhou Yasong, who has already entered a new stage in his life, set a new goal after the graduation ceremony: to study for a doctorate.
after several considerations, she plans to be admitted to a Korean school, and she is required to submit works in four different languages in addition to preparing Chinese songs.
Foreign languages are especially difficult for Zhou Yasong. In order to overcome the difficult problem, she spent three months practicing four songs.
first, I listened carefully and heard that I knew it by heart. Then I practiced it over and over again, and specially asked the teacher to correct my pronunciation word for word.
it is common to practice a sentence a hundred times.
thanks to her efforts, the Korean school accepted her declaration and admitted her as a doctoral freshman.
my daughter originally did not plan to take the doctoral examination, but she was touched to see that her mother had such a beautiful result in pursuing her dream.
"other people's parents" is not how much wealth or social status he has.
but he has high demands on himself, relying on his own influence, to guide the child to grow up and achieve the child's life.
it is said that the best management is demonstration, and the best education is infection.
parents who are particularly "ruthless" to themselves are the brightest stars of their children's lives, and will eventually witness their children's future lit up by him.
Krupskaya, a former Soviet educator, said: "for parents, family education is first of all self-education."
rather than constantly pushing and urging behind their children, parents should walk in front of their children, straighten up and set an example.
good parents, first of all, be yourself and manage yourself.
the only thing you can do is to be ruthless to yourself than anyone else, constantly introspecting and improving, which is the greatest responsibility for the rest of your child's life.
when parents really become role models and benchmarks in their children's minds, the child will look back and be full of gratitude:
it is the parents'"ruthlessness" that has made his life possible.