The best kindness (everyone must read it)
Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
01
people, it is always the butt that determines the head.
people have different ideas when they are in different positions. If you are a driver, you will feel that passers-by should abide by the rules; if you are a passer-by, you will feel that the car owner needs comity.
if you are the boss, you will think that the employee is very lazy; if you are an employee, you will think the boss is very strict.
if you are rich, you will find it impossible to show off your wealth; if you are poor, you will feel that showing off is a kind of show-off.
you have a daughter, and you want more betrothal gifts from your mother-in-law; you have a son, and you think your father-in-law wants too much betrothal gifts;
you have a daughter-in-law, and you think her daughter-in-law is too busy and ignorant; you have a daughter, and you want her to be in charge of her mother-in-law.
when you drive, you hate pedestrians; when you walk, you hate cars.
when you work, you think your boss is too strong and stingy. When you become a boss, you think your employees are too irresponsible and realistic.
you are a customer and think the merchant is too profiteering; you are a businessman, and you think the customer is too picky.
so everyone lives in their own prejudices.
where you are determines the starting point of what you do; you will judge by what you need.
02
it is not difficult to know people, but it is difficult to respect them. Others have no car and no house, you say he is poor; others have a car and a house, you say he is shrewd. If others keep a low profile, you will ignore them; if others are high-profile, you will wear a hat; if others are moderate, you will dislike them as ordinary.
other people's routine, you say they are boring; others work hard day and night, you say that the world does not return home at night.
Life, it's just laughing at others here and being laughed at by others there.
when it comes to interests, there is mutual abuse, attack and calculation.
03
there is a classic monarch-minister dialogue in Chinese history: Tang Taizong asked Xu Jingzong:
Get ready to shop the perfect prom for petite girls dresses for your wardrobe? Don’t waste your time and money at overpriced retailers – we are here for you.
Xu Jingzong replied:
Spring rain is as expensive as oil. Farmers love it because it nourishes crops, but walkers hate it because spring rain makes the road muddy.
the autumn moon shines like a bright mirror in all directions. Gifted scholars and beauties gladly appreciate the moon and recite poems, but thieves hate it for fear of showing their ugly deeds.
I am omnipotent and can not satisfy everyone, not to mention that I am an ordinary person.
there is also such a story:
A pig, a sheep and a cow are kept in the same corral by the shepherd.
one day, the shepherd took the pig out of the corral and heard the pig barking loudly and rebelled strongly.
the sheep and cows hated its howling and complained, "We are often caught by shepherds, and we don't yell like you."
Pig replied, "catching you and catching me are two different things. He only divides your hair and milk, but he kills me!"
everyone has their own position and can only see the situation they are facing.
the arrogance of people is that we always think that the world we see is the situation faced by others.
just because you haven't experienced it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
Don't forget the darkness just because you are in the sun.
Don't ignore the sufferings of others just because you are happy.
04
most of the time our differences do not come from things themselves, but from our different positions. For people in high positions, it is difficult to understand the consumption concept of the poor; for people living in poverty, it is very difficult for them to have the freedom to go.
everyone's position is different, so the starting point of thinking about the problem is different.
the situation is different, it is difficult to understand; the angle is different, it is difficult to resonate.
do not easily judge who is right and who is wrong, your honey, the other arsenic.
if a person always stands in his own position to see others, he will always live in his own prejudice, and there will always be problems that cannot be solved.
there are all kinds of life, each has its own sufferings. Too many people learn a little bit about other people's information and begin to comment on other people's lives, or even interfere and throw dirty water at will.
never judge other people's lives casually, because you don't have other people's experience, much less can you understand other people's difficulties.
05
one of the signs of maturity is to understand a truth:
what other people think of you has nothing to do with you! Because when other people are judging you, they appear to be judging you, but in fact they show their hearts.
you are just their inner projector, projecting their truest hearts. Every word they evaluate you is a true reflection of their heart.
those with dark hearts are despicable when they see everything; those who are sunny inside see sunshine.
you just act as a mirror of their heart. You let them see their heart.
you can save a man with a heart of stone, but it is difficult to save a man with a dark heart.
it is a kind of mind to know people rather than judge them casually, and to be able to think about things from the point of view of others.
similarly, in the face of other people's comments, do not casually into their own eyes, and can even go in one ear and out the other, which is a kind of wisdom.
06
Lu Xun said in "on people to be feared": some thought: "although I am not as beautiful as Ruan Lingyu, I am more serious than her."
some people think: "although I am not as capable as Ruan Lingyu, I was born higher than her."
after Lian Ruan Lingyu committed suicide, some people still thought:\ "although I don't have the skills of Ruan Lingyu, I am better than her."Courage, because I didn't kill myself.
in the final analysis, this is a kind of low-level vanity: when you look at other people's dissatisfaction, you think you are having a good life.
those who like to make up stories behind your back are for three reasons:
1. Without your level 2. He doesn't have what you have: 3. Trying to imitate you.
this is the usual trend in society. There are such a small group of people who judge others all day long. Their physique, appearance, dress, behavior have become the focus of their comments, and sometimes they are even picky, or even sarcastic.
Mr. Lu Xun often dissects society, but he actually dissects himself:
without such a sharp courage to dissect ourselves, we would not be qualified to dissect others.
otherwise you will only give yourself a name for malice.
knowing people's difficulties but not casually judging others and giving timely assistance is the best kindness in the world.