The biggest disaster of a family is not poverty, not cheating, but.

there is an old Chinese saying: every family has its own difficult classics.

if the child is too naughty, after tempering, the years will give him the best growth.

if life is not rich enough, through hard work, there will always be a good day.

but if husband and wife are tit-for-tat all day long, there is always resentment between father and son, and there is no affection between brothers, that is the beginning of the decline of the family.

the most difficult thing for a family to learn is the discord among relatives, and the greatest disaster is the loss of harmony among the whole family.

01

Family discord, quarrels and discord

Mr. Shan Yin Jing once said:

A home without harmony is like a house without a roof, which can no longer give sense of security to people.

the whole family lives together, if only quarrels and hostility are left, then the family does not have any temperature, but it is just a cold residence.

I remember watching a video from the media blogger @ Huizhou:

late at night, the couple were still quarrelling, and there was not only the sound of quarreling, but also the sound of broken glass in the house.

the child stood alone in the living room, calling "Mom" in fear. After a while, the mother came out and made faces at the child to make him happy.

then she squatted down and opened her arms, when she suddenly grew wings behind her, tightly protecting the child.

it is obvious that these wings are covered with scars and pain. What does the existence of

home mean?

means that no matter how many grievances you encounter, you can always cure them all by going home.

Home is not a battlefield, there is no need to wave the flag and shout, no matter who wins or loses, still less is the chessboard, there is no need to be careful and be on guard everywhere.

A quarrel or even a big fight, you think you have won, but you have lost everything.

I have heard the idea that there is a rebound in the relationship between people.

you always lose your temper at the one you love, and when these anger bounce back one day, you will feel multiple injuries and pain.

whether husband and wife, father and son, or brothers and sisters, there is tolerance and accommodation, there is happiness.

after all, home is a place of love, not a place of reason.

the family is in harmony. No matter how poor it is, the family can get rich. When there is discord in the family, the hearts of the people are drifting away.

02

grievances are passed down from generation to generation, and blessings decrease day by day

when people are young, they often think that all complaints and scolding exist only at the moment they are spoken, and as long as things are over, you can act as if nothing has happened.

but it is not until middle age that we find that grievances "accumulate". As long as they are not eliminated, they will remind us all the time and affect the growth of future generations.

educator William James mentioned:

if you write kindness on it, the child will become a gentle person, and if you write grievances on it, the child will become a repressed person.

the movie "ten thousand arrows through the heart" is a manifestation of a tragic family.

Li Baoli and her husband Ma Xuewu are two people from different worlds, but they live together.

Li Baoli thinks she is a local, so she often dictates to Ma Xuewu from the countryside, refuses to choose her words, and can say even the worst things in her anger.

after a long time, Ma Xuewu finally couldn't stand it and asked for a divorce, and then cheated on her female colleague without Li Baoli's consent to divorce.

after learning that she had been betrayed, Li Baoli personally reported her husband, and because of this, Ma Xuewu was laid off, and then couldn't think of jumping into the river to commit suicide.

from then on, in order to provide for her son's education and support her mother-in-law, she became a "pole" on the street and carried her life on her shoulders for ten years.

Ten years later, my son was admitted to college, but he offered to sever ties with Li Baoli because he hated Li Baoli for killing his father and destroying his family.

because of family conflicts, the child has hidden resentment since childhood. Because his mother does not know how to communicate, he has no affection for his mother except disgust.

there is a saying in the Book of Rites: father and son Benedict, brothers in harmony, husband and wife, the fat of the family.

the mouth of parents is the way for children.

the way parents get along, their children will have a future, and then walk into their homes with those shadows or light and pass them on from generation to generation.

the temperature of a family is not only the blessing of a family, but also the rise and fall of a family.

if grievances are passed on from generation to generation, blessings will only be "reduced day by day".

03

the best feng shui in a family:

No matter whether the big thing is right or wrong, Professor Li Meijin said a rather profound sentence:

"No matter who you conflict with, you must remember that you usually have three to five sentences. I say one sentence, you top me one sentence, I say it again, and then you will be anxious. At this time, you can turn around and walk away." Only those who can stop at that point are sensible.

because the quarrel has reached this point, the matter is no longer clear, and there is no need to fight up and down. "

Why are we more likely to lose our temper with people close to us?

in fact, when you think about it, it's probably because:

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you don't have the courage to get angry with your boss and worry about getting fired;

you don't have the courage to get angry with your friend and worry that he will run away;

you don't have the courage to get angry with your clients and worry about all your efforts in vain.

you dare not get angry with strangers and worry about taking on the consequences.

yoursTemper, but worry about outsiders, but have no fear of your family, because you think they will never leave.

but this is not the case. People always know too late and regret too late.

as Cai Kangyong said, the idea of "if I knew" is the reason for everyone's tears.

many people envy the relationship between Chow Yun-fat and his wife, because everyone thinks that should be the best way to get along with each other.

A couple can make up after a quarrel, because no matter who is wrong, Chow Yun-fat will take the initiative to give in, and he doesn't want to let trifles affect his relationship.

the most stable relationship of a family is not the "endurance" of grievances, but the "concession" that peace is the most precious.

through the ages, the best feng shui for every family should be

1. Major events do not have to win or lose, face problems together and solve contradictions;

2. Do not haggle over trifles, there is no overnight grudge, learn to forgive each other;

3. Put aside the "knife mouth", give up the bad temper, mutual understanding, long live understanding.

the source of harmony is to discuss big things, forgive trifles, do not fight for right or wrong, and do not turn over old debts.

Zhou Guoping wrote in his book:

the wealth of the family is not as good as that of the family.

it is not until middle age that people gradually understand the true meaning of happiness, become more and more tolerant of the world, learn to understand without losing their temper, and gradually understand what is most important.

compared to the loss of both sides after a quarrel, I prefer to talk and laugh with my family in the gentle light.