The most comfortable relationship between people: speak up
Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
two days ago, # how important it is to be straightforward # became a hot topic on Weibo.
countless netizens resonate with each other and actively express their opinions, counting the crimes they have suffered for beating around the bush:
"you have to go around in a big circle what you can say in one sentence."
"Let others guess every day, this is how two people get separated."
"if you have something to say, other people are not as glassy as you think."
in the complicated life, there are countless people passing by every day, countless things to deal with, and countless troubles to be solved.
between worldly and sophisticated people, you can only understand how to be a man and do things clearly if you have something to say.
pretend to be deep, every sentence should be unpredictable, and in the end, it will be a waste of time and effort.
just as one netizen said in the comment:
in this life, the highest EQ is not the so-called decency and euphemism.
but speak directly and speak well.
to put it bluntly, it is the greatest respect for others
Mark Twain, the great writer, once attended a speech by a priest.
within three minutes of speaking, Mark Twain recognized that the priest wanted everyone to donate money, but he was embarrassed to tell it, so he kept telling the sad story of the poor family.
at first, Mark Twain, moved by the priest's story, took a handkerchief to wipe away his tears and planned to donate.
but 30 minutes later, the priest is still talking.
Mark Twain grew tired of listening, and from time to time he looked at the door of the meeting, wondering when the speech would be over.
finally, the priest spoke for a full hour, thinking that he had laid the groundwork, so he asked everyone to come forward to raise money.
Mark Twain has no intention of donating money, and even refuses to raise money out of vengeance.
in this world, everyone is not an island, and it is inevitable to ask for help.
but in many cases, what is really difficult to accept is not how difficult a request is, but that you still choose to waste each other's time even though you know the other person is busy.
there is a "over-limit effect" in psychology, which means that when a person is constantly hanging his appetite beyond a certain limit, he will lose interest or even produce a rebellious state of mind.
in this era of racing against time, the penetration of out-of-limit effect is more obvious.
every busy moment, it is possible to break down because of a roundabout conversation.
Jobs once said:
in fact, most people do not have much time to be vulnerable to the pressures of life.
therefore, do not always feel that others are glass hearts, and things that can be explained by a single sentence become a long-lasting entanglement.
Life is short and time is precious.
to speak bluntly is the most efficient way of communication and the greatest respect for each other.
to avoid consuming each other
A netizen on Zhihu complained about her boyfriend's incomprehensible amorous feelings:
having dinner together in a restaurant, she asked her boyfriend to eat the last fish on the plate.
but she thought she had said the fish was delicious and her boyfriend would spoil it and put it in her bowl.
to her surprise, the other person really ate it himself.
when she returned to Shanghai on a business trip, her boyfriend said he would come to pick her up. She said no, saying it didn't matter if she worked hard, but she felt in her heart that if he really cared, he would still pick him up.
but her boyfriend really didn't pick her up. She squeezed the subway with a suitcase and was full of grievances all the way.
she said, "if he really cares about me, he doesn't need me to say everything."
the highly praised comment replied to her as follows:
"the person who doesn't care about you in your eyes once came to you wet in front of you, braving the pouring rain, walking through most of the city."
he is still the same person he used to be, so why should you begrudge a word? "
It is such a dream to be able to find just the right non traditional wedding dresses for that special event. A great collections are on hot sale now!
I feel deeply.
the ancients used to say that unfinished words have infinite meaning.
Chinese culture and temperament, always with some implicit background, the pursuit of a tacit tacit understanding.
as if any relationship, only to achieve "I do not say, you also understand", is the true relationship.
if it is "you don't do it until I say it", it doesn't really care.
do not know that no one and whose life can be perfectly intertwined, and many feelings and experiences can only be known by themselves after all.
A period that depends on clues of details and feelings of hesitation is destined to be the consumables of life.
"Qifa Shuo" debater Huang Zhizhong said:
"We Chinese only speak three points, and we use guesses for the remaining seven points."
guess back and forth, they are all guessing from the bottom of their hearts, and they are missing a lot of hearts. Why bother? "
any relationship, even if the still water runs long, has long ripples.
if you don't say it, I don't say it. I think we all understand each other, but in the end, no one understands.
get along with others, if you have something to say, and everything echoes, you can go through a longer time together.
to speak bluntly, it is a positive attitude
someone asked, "if you have something to say, what to do to offend people?"
but in fact, frankness does not mean open mouth and no sense of propriety.
the Analects of Confucius says: "Wise men think what they say, fools say what they think."
the correct attitude towards getting along with others is not secrecy, nor is it the naked running of ideas.
but the heart is the same and the speech is smooth.Decent rate, let people like the spring breeze, warm and bright.
Rui Dalio, founder of the Bridge Water Fund, told such a story in principles.
once he was the keynote speaker of the meeting, and throughout the process, he thought he was in good shape.
but shortly after the meeting, he received an email from an employee.
it was mentioned in the email that Dario talked about a lot of irrelevant trivia, which affected the agenda of the meeting.
he speculated that Dalio had not been fully prepared before the meeting, which led to logical confusion in the discussion, one in the east and the other in the west.
in the face of this critical email, Dalio was not angry, but admired the employee.
on the one hand, he is frank and confident, and dares to be outspoken about the poor performance of his leaders.
on the other hand, instead of interrupting himself at the meeting and affecting the progress of the meeting, he pointed out the problem by email, which made it easier for people to accept.
later, Dalio used this email to improve the format of the meeting and greatly improved the efficiency of communication, and the employees who sent this email also received the attention of the leadership.
writer Westo said: "to speak bluntly is the most positive attitude in life."
speak well, the purpose is to speak out, otherwise, any language art can not be beautiful.
A thing cannot be solved by beating around the bush.
be frank and put the problem on the table before you can further find a solution.
not saying a word and pretending that nothing has happened is not a sign of high EQ, but a perfunctory treatment of each other.
having worries in mind, saying something, and meeting the needs of the listener in the most comfortable way is the truly advanced way of life.
to put it bluntly, it is not only an EQ, but also an ability
Writer Yan Jiang has a famous saying:
in this era when you have to take the initiative to fight for any opportunity, you can only make a difference and be respected.
speaking and hiding things and doing things timidly, it makes people feel that they are lack of ability and lack of strength.
in the Japanese TV series Naoki Banazawa, Kondo is a bank clerk devolved by the head office.
in the new business department, the leader felt that he had been at the head office, so he was in charge of the bank lending process.
although he is dissatisfied with this arrangement, Kondo feels that he has just been abandoned by the head office, and now he says no is more likely to arouse resentment from the new leader.
for a long time, Kondo worked hard in a position he didn't like and dared not say what he thought, let alone refuse an unreasonable request.
I thought this would be taken seriously again, but unexpectedly, people still laughed at his cowardice and regarded him as a dispensable tool.
only then did Kondo understand that people who are painfully maintained by suppressing their inner thoughts can not be recognized at all. It is better to speak their minds and make some changes.
so he offered to be responsible for the financial audit he was good at and refused any delegation on the loan process.
at first he was worried that it would be a nuisance, but in fact it didn't make any waves in the department at all.
on the contrary, after he confessed his inner thoughts, he was no longer as timid as he used to be, and his working condition was greatly improved.
soon, he discovered a mistake in the financial report and avoided a huge fine for the company.
through this incident, he also demonstrated his professional ability and got real attention.
there is a saying in Poor Charlie:
"success always belongs to those who dare to express their desires."
fear of being hated, afraid of being rejected, and staying at a safe distance can only narrow the road of life.
after all, what the world appreciates is not your timidity and fear of saying the wrong thing, but your ability to speak bluntly and dare to take responsibility.
when walking around the world, many things are accomplished or not, often in a few words.
say what you think, do what you say, and constantly improve your ability in order to achieve a better life.
Hu Shi and Huang Kan had a public discussion about how to refuse a job they didn't want to do.
Huang Kan thought about it for a long time, and finally thought of the euphemistic refusal:
Hu Shi, without thinking, uttered three very simple words:
the teachers and students were stupefied, and then applauded.
as a matter of fact, there are not so many entanglements and considerations in this world.
every time we suppress the implication of silence, it is self-depletion; every time we look at the cover of the left and right, we are estranged from each other.
for the rest of my life, give up the superfluous groundwork and return to the essence of being a man and doing things.
the easiest way to live is not to speak awkwardly and not to hide things.