The root cause of one's pain: the comparison of everything

in life, everyone can't help comparing with others:

when I was a child, I was better than my grades, when I grew up, I was better than my salary, I was bigger than my house, and my car was more expensive and inferior.

compared to the past, I made myself anxious and worried constantly.

for a long time, the lawyer has been obsessed with comparing himself with others.

other people's children's grades are better than their own, and other people's material conditions are superior to their own, which will touch his sensitive nerves.

once, when he was having a party with an old classmate, he suddenly found that he had not only a successful career and a happy family, but also made more money than he did.

this suddenly plunged him into a deep sense of loss and frustration: "when I was a child, when I was obviously better than him, how could he surpass me in a twinkling of an eye and be more successful than me?"

even when I feel that I am not as good as each other, I secretly resent the injustice of the world: "Why can everyone else live a happy life while I live like this?"

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because he is always compared with others, he has always been very unhappy.

Carnegie said in the weakness of Human Nature:

I want to compare everything with others, save face, and seek a psychological balance. In the end, I will only waste my energy, affect my mood, and disrupt my life.

during the Western Jin Dynasty, Shi Chong and Wang Kai were both famous tycoons at that time, and they liked to compete with each other in everything.

Shi Chong heard that after Wang Kai washed the pot with sugar water after dinner, in order to appear richer, he used white wax as firewood.

Wang Kai made a purple silk barrier in front of his house for 40 miles, while Shi Chong made a tapestry barrier for 50 miles.

Wang Kai painted his house with spices, and Shi Chong painted the walls with red paraffin.

this meaningless struggle for wealth has not only wasted a lot of money between the two, but also found themselves a lot of unhappiness because of the struggle everywhere.

people are more popular than people, and life is more sick than life.

senseless comparisons, but they are all asking for trouble.

as the writer Zhu Ling said:

02

A comfortable life lies in not comparing

people. Once you set your mind to keep up with others, you will never be satisfied.

only with contentment can you lead a healthy life.

in a hospital in Nara, Japan, there is a psychiatrist named Heiko Nakamura who has worked for more than 70 years.

working in the same unit for most of his life, Hengzi has never had any conflict with others, and every day he is calm and relaxed.

when asked about the secret of happiness, she gave only three words: no comparison.

since her career, Mr. Hengzi has never kept up with others.

when a younger doctor stepped into a higher position at work, she didn't care at all.

she will not be dissatisfied with the fact that others are treated better than her.

she said: "other people have other people's lives, and they have their own tracks." It is meaningless to compare yourself with others to get yourself lost and jealous. It will only drain your energy. "

Peony has the national color and celestial fragrance of peony, and plum blossom has the pride of plum blossom.

there are all kinds of red flowers, and people are different.

not comparing is the smart way to live.

there are two people in Lu, one poor and one rich.

the rich look sad all day long, while the poor are often happy and at ease.

one day, the poor could not help asking the rich: "you have a thousand hectares of fertile land and herds of cattle and horses, why are you always unhappy?"

the rich man sighed, "although I have a lot of money, but some people are richer than me, I am naturally unhappy." Why are you so happy when you are so poor? "

the poor answer: "although I am poor, I have a coat and a good mouth." If you have nothing to worry about, you can have fun. "

although the rich are rich, they want to be richer; the poor are impoverished, can live in peace and contentment.

whether a person can live a comfortable life does not depend on the amount of wealth, but on the size of desire.

Happiness is passed, not compared.

Inner contentment, do not focus on others, do not blindly compare with others, natural joy often follow, happiness like a shadow.

03

never envy other people's lives

have seen such a fable.

the pig said, "if I were to live again, I would be a cow. Although I work hard, I have a good reputation."

Niu said: "if I were to live again, I would be a pig, eat, sleep and eat. I don't have to do anything. I live better than immortals."

the eagle said, "if I were to live again, I would be a chicken. I would have water to drink when I am thirsty, rice to eat when I am hungry, room to live and protection."

the chicken said, "if I were to live again, I would be an eagle so that I could fly freely in the sky and travel all over the world."

you see, when you envy others, they also envy you.

this is often not the case when you think that everyone else is happy and that you are always a mess.

in Zhu Deyong's cartoon "jumping off a Building", the girl felt that she was so unhappy that she could not bear the burden and chose to jump off a building.

but when she jumped from the eleventh floor, she saw the couple on the tenth floor who were famous for their love fighting each other.

the normally strong man on the ninth floor was secretly crying.P>

the fiance of the girl on the eighth floor is having an affair and is caught in the act.

the girl who has always looked happy on the seventh floor is taking antidepressants.

before that, she felt that everyone was happy and happy, only herself was the worst.

No matter how strong the conditions seem, people will have their own troubles and troubles.

therefore, there is no need to blindly compare, magnify the happiness of others, and dislike what you have.

there is no need to focus on others, envy other people's lives and ignore what is in front of them.

enjoy your own life and live your own life safely in order to live a good life at your own pace.

whether you are happy or not has nothing to do with others.

but once you base your happiness on comparison with others, it's hard to feel happy.