Behind every grumpy mother, there is a father who gives up.
Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
recently, there is a father in Xining, Qinghai, which has aroused the anger of many netizens.
that day, the mother went to the kitchen and the father and son were in the living room.
the naughty son soon opened several boxes of yogurt and took a "milk bath" on the floor.
he rubbed the floor and body, and soon there was white and greasy yogurt on his hands, legs, shorts, face, hair and buttocks. Several yogurt boxes were thrown next to
, and the ground was a mess.
on the sofa next to the yogurt box, the father is lying on his cell phone and has no idea what his son is doing.
if you look closely, you will find that he is immersed in the video, his fingers constantly giving likes to the wriggling beauty-it's a non-stop place!
netizens are not calm when they see this:
"I can't see this. I will rub my blood pressure and float up."
"what's the use of this man?"
.
Bear children and scum husbands, none of them is worrying.
it's all right for a child to be a demon. After all, he is young and ignorant. He is still a lovely child who takes a bath and changes his clothes.
how many mothers can hold back their anger when they encounter such an irresponsible father?
01
Mom's anger mostly stems from the fact that my father
watched a variety show. When the mother wanted to do housework in the evening, she coaxed her two children to bed and let her husband take care of them for a while.
after a while, she heard the second crying and the eldest shouted, but only her husband was silent.
she doesn't know what's going on, so she hastens to have a look.
as soon as I entered the room, I was furious!
I saw the second child crying all the time, but the eldest held the second child but could not coax him, so he had to cry out to his mother anxiously.
Dad, on the other hand, was close at hand, and no matter how much the two children cried and shouted, he didn't even look up.
Mother was anxious and angry when she saw such a scene.
what's more, in order to avoid housework and children, the father lied about "taking a bath" and hid in the toilet to play with his cell phone, letting the water flow for more than an hour!
on another occasion, the mother asked the father to pick up the child from school.
but he was so preoccupied with his mobile phone that he forgot about it.
the child waited silently at the school gate for a long time, saying, "Why isn't my father here yet?"
his wife dropped his cell phone in a rage!
there is more than one father who is indifferent to "no matter how busy his wife is and how much his children need".
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A husband complains about his wife while playing with his mobile phone.
he only saw his wife swearing, but he didn't notice that his wife was cooking, cleaning, tutoring homework and educating children.
he only saw his wife "inexplicably" angry, but did not notice his inaction.
Why do wives become more and more "unreasonable" and lose their temper easily after marriage, while their wives are gentle and virtuous before marriage and obedient to others?
the father who doesn't care about things makes his wife have no one to discuss and share things.
mothers, who are entangled by their children for more than 20 hours every day, are irritable and depressed, causing anger every minute.
Mom is not born with a bad temper, she just accumulates too many grievances.
02
the father who gives up and the child who doesn't worry
sees a story on the Internet. A father consults to a psychological counselor:
my wife has a bad temper and often yells at her children because of trifles. I feel that the children are becoming more and more inferior. how can I make my wife get rid of the problem of losing her temper?
the psychological counselor only asked two questions:
what is the reason behind the wife losing her temper? What does she need in her heart?
it turns out that his wife is busy at work and housework at home, and is the number one inside and outside. However, due to the lack of skills after having a child, she inevitably has some anxiety, which is hard to avoid losing her temper and losing her temper.
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the psychological counselor asked his father: your wife is "number one at home and out of the house". What role do you play as a husband?
do you share housework or take care of children with your wife?
did you give your wife any support when you saw her irritable and angry?
there is only so much division of labor in a family, and if the father shares less, the mother must bear more.
A wife who is already tired after a day's work has to face a lot of housework and hard work to deal with bear children when she comes home, so it is inevitable to get angry.
the cartoon "six-arm Mom" vividly presents the whole process of a gentle mother getting out of control.
this mother has six hands, which is still not enough for the family.
in the morning, when the father and son were still sound asleep, the mother got up and made breakfast. Do it and then wait for father and son to get up, eat and dress.
send the child to school, and she rushed to work at work. In the face of her pale boss, she brought tea, made phone calls and sent documents. The overwhelming amount of work kept her from stopping all day.
after work, she rushed to the supermarket to snap up food, vegetables, daily necessities and promotional items, and then brought it home breathlessly.
push open the door and see all kinds of toys and snacks thrown by bear children, making the house look like rubbishIn the field, she hurriedly tidied up again.
just finished packing, my drunken father came back. He threw his clothes everywhere and threw the smelly socks he had just taken off into his mother's face.
the mother continued to tidy up angrily, but tripped over the toy thrown by her son.
the mother, who put up with it again and again, couldn't help it any longer when she saw the urine stains on the freshly washed toilet seat.
the angry mother was like a monster, waving six arms to attack her father and son.
Father and son were scared to hide around, and were finally slapped out by their angry mother.
Mom's ability to be gentle is as destructive as it is when she is angry.
cook, work, do laundry, do housework, take care of the children, everything is waiting for her, every day.
No matter how capable a mother is, she can't stand such a cycle.
A netizen once said:
"when my parents quarreled, my mother was always aggressive and irritable, and my father was silent, and I always felt sorry for my father. Only later did I find out that the poor one has always been my mother. "
even if the poor mother has six hands, it is difficult for her to wait on the whole family for a long time, continuously and in every detail. It is only a matter of time before she collapses and freaks out.
A carefree child, a father who gives up, there must be an isolated mother behind.
03
A good father is like a fire extinguisher
can extinguish mother's anger
I have read a primary school composition, "my powder keg, Mom".
the child wrote that his mother often lost her temper at him like a powder keg because she didn't want to take piano lessons.
when he talks back a little, his mother "fried" and often yelled at him to eat "fried meat with bamboo shoots (beating people)".
so much so that as soon as he heard the doorbell of his mother coming home from work, he was trembling with fear, saying that it was time for him to "die" and that he was psychologically prepared before he died.
the child is so afraid of his mother. Where is the father?
the full text is not mentioned, as if there are only tired and anxious mothers and children who are unable to protect themselves.
the weak child bears all his mother's anger.
what a happy family needs is not anger, but a fire extinguisher that works all the time.
although naughty children are often unbearably popular, it is a good thing that the father can extinguish all his mother's anger.
such as the blossoming in "Little parting", all kinds of wayward adolescence give parents a headache.
once, without consulting with her parents, she secretly raised a dog at home until the furry dog licked her mother's leg and the frightened mother found out.
my quick-tempered mother suddenly got angry and asked Duoduo to send her away quickly. Duoduo quit, of course, mother and daughter are about to quarrel.
Dad saw that the situation was not good, so he quickly pushed his mother to another room, and the couple discussed the problems of their children behind closed doors.
the first thing he said to his mother was "I support you", then explained that his daughter had reached puberty and that it was normal to be disobedient.
Mom calmed down when she heard this, and sat down to listen to her father.
Dad suggested that in the future, the education method should be changed, and the quick-tempered mother should be responsible for being "close to the people." he is in charge of being strict, so that the child can feel not only the gentle enlightenment of his mother, but also the strict supervision of his father, and get through puberty smoothly.
with reasonable grounds, my mother acquiesced in her consent.
after taking care of the mother, the father pulled the daughter over again and told her to "talk to her mother."
as a result, mother and daughter apologized to each other for their extreme emotions, and then calmly reached a dog agreement.
finally, the father instructed his daughter to "hug her mother." after the daughter left, he turned around to praise her mother's words and her quick brain.
A family dispute that is about to break out has been resolved so easily.
when a tired mother encounters a problem, a powerful father is not only the first helper when the mother encounters a problem, but also the best regulator when the child has a conflict with the mother.
think of the father played by Zhang Jiaye in Young Pi. When his wife is pregnant with her second child, her daughter acts as a demon, playing truant, doing live broadcasts, and easily throwing faces at her mother.
Mom wanted to discipline her severely, but as a pregnant woman, she was powerless, and it was her hard-working father who saved the family.
he acted as a "family cook" while cooking pregnant women's meals and doing housework for his wife. At the same time, he made painstaking efforts to reason with his daughter and arbitrate the contradiction between his wife and daughter.
on the surface, it is my mother who talks at home. In fact, it is my father who supports the joys and sorrows of a family.
it's not that mothers never lose their temper in a happy family.
it is that even if the mother has a lot of bad mood, she can be relieved by her father and has no chance to vent her anger on her child.
04
Mom's mood is the premise of whether a family is happy or not.
but no one is born to lose his temper.
the mother's bad temper only stems from anger at home and helplessness towards her children.
Dad takes the initiative to share, so that mom can have peace of mind.
when a child has a problem, a good father knows how to ask himself: what pressure can I bear for my child?
when a wife is anxious and upset, a good husband knows how to reflect on himself: what support can I provide for his wife?
A happy familyThere is no prescription, there is only a responsible father.
he is willing to stand with his mother to solve the problem, rather than stand with the problem and crush his mother.