Every time you ask me how I am, I just want to go home.

in the car of Huihe yesterday, A Yu asked me, "are you going to buy anything for your mother for Mother's Day?" I sent a Teletubby face to her and said, "I have no clue at all. I have no idea what she likes when the money is ready." With that, I felt ashamed because I didn't even know what my mother liked. I know whether my best friend's taste is sour or sweet, and I know that my favorite boys like sci-fi movies or dramas, but I don't know anything about my mother's preferences.

A Yu said, "are you embarrassed? Your mother raised you for so many years and you can't believe you don't understand her. "

I was afraid to answer her question on my phone. Five minutes later, she transferred me an H5 test. At first, I didn't know why she asked me to take this "Mother's Day, measure the closeness between you and your mother" test. But when I spent two minutes on this H5 page, I found my answer.

half an hour later, I replied to Ah Yu: "Thank you."

in fact, I can't answer any of these questions about H5.

my brother once said to me, "you know, they are all people who can only accompany half of you." I always remember these words, because I also want to remind myself that the questions asked me in that test, I will never fail to answer them sadly from now on.

\ "what was the last time you spoke to your mother

do you remember?"

I have been talking to my family every two days since I was in college, except in special circumstances, such as recently. After three months of preparation, the materials were brushed down in the last round of the interview, and I wanted to report to the project in the department that the grade points on the transcript were not good enough to meet my needs, and I, who kept writing manuscripts and was constantly killed, had not called home voluntarily for a week.

because the way of expression with my mother for a long time belongs to "report the good news but not the bad news", I will tell her a lot of happy things, such as the washing machine has been installed in the dormitory, playing badminton every night, buying fruit, forgetting to bring cash, the boss gave me long, and so on, but I will not tell her that I am occasionally depressed because I am emotional, do not talk, hide in bed, do not have classes or eat, and so on. I won't tell her that I also tried to cry because I couldn't stand the pressure in the corner of the grandstand.

because I always say to myself, "you can't let your family know about troubles, because they will worry."

but until last night my mother called and asked why she didn't call home for several days. I said, "it's nothing." Eat it. Er, I've been busy lately. I have a lot to do. Yeah, mm-hmm. I'll call you when I'm done. "

the procrastinating tone and dodging words on the phone finally turned into hot eyes and sour nose.

when was the last time you laughed with your mother?

I always thought that complaining was futile and that self-resolution was a more feasible thing than to confide in others. For example, one day I posted a "complaining moments". In fact, I didn't ask for other people's help and pity, but there was no friend who could listen to my complaints, so I could only complain to the omnipotent circle of friends, but half an hour later. I only received sporadic comments such as "just get some sleep" /"it won't be so lucky if you find a boyfriend quickly" and so on.

at that time, I was really disappointed in the moments. I thought "my friends" were there, but I didn't even say "what's wrong". So later, when you are distressed, you can only be silent, face it silently, solve it silently, and then continue to eat, walk and sleep alone.

I really thought it would be like the song, "leave my sadness to myself and let you take away your happiness."

after I made the phone call, I found that I was wrong.

because after listening to my low crying voice, she seemed to realize that I was hesitant to speak.

she said, "I thought you wanted me to comfort you. Who knows you don't talk to your family about these things now. When you were a child, I would take you on a bus ride every time you were scolded by your father or fought with your brother." and asked me to buy five sheep brand taro ice cream. "

I didn't answer, because I was afraid I wouldn't stop crying as soon as I opened my mouth, so I kept silent. And standing outside the corridor, the dazzling white lights and passers-by kept reminding me that there were a lot of people watching, you can't cry.

but in fact, I know that no one will notice a person calling there and wiping away tears for no reason.

half a minute later, she continued, "I don't know what I can do for you, but I still want you to say it."

if I only stay at home for 100 days a year

if my mother can live to be 80

she may still be able to accompany me for 3600 days

(average age of Chinese women: 79.3)

maybe that's what the saying "growing up and getting old happens in an instant" means. It turns out that in the time when we didn't pay attention to it, I learned to be silent and she learned to recall. So I found that sometimes it seems that you can not be so brave, and even you can fall down weak. When she said, "you used to show weakness, complain and need me to protect you," shame and sadness poured up into a flush on the tip of your nose and a twirl in your eyes.

since when did she stop giving me reason, no control, no more requirements that I have to be home by eight o'clock? Since when is she willing to let me go against the blade, even if it's a path she doesn't want me to take?

for example, she, who always wanted me to concentrate on normal school, when I told her I wanted to make a living by writing.Unexpectedly supported, but did not say as before: "Girls always have to find a stable job."

she, who always wanted me to study and get married here, did not object when I said I still wanted to go to Taiwan for a few years. Instead, she said, "if you can go on your own, then go. I don't want you to regret it."

We lie unconsciously every day. Even when we go to class, we can only play with our cell phones and say to ourselves, "I'm coming to class." every night before we go to bed, we turn the unfinished work into "Don't worry about it tomorrow." And, "I'm fine, it's nothing" when I'm on the phone with my parents.

\ "I may also be able to spend 36 Spring Festival with my mother

eat 2400 meals cooked by my mother\"

there are two opposite examples around me about talking to my parents.

once I ran with a friend and talked about a topic called "how much does it cost to fall in love for a month". Finally, we came to the same conclusion, that is, "it's none of my business. I don't have money and I don't have a man /girlfriend."

after the run, we sat in front of the 7-Eleven convenience store eating frozen spring onion rolls and drinking two bottles of soy milk on sale. His mother called. I listened to my friend talking to his mother on the phone: "in the dormitory, um, eating noodles is cooked by myself, not instant noodles. Don't worry." Yes, there is enough money to spend. No, I have enough clothes. Guangzhou is not cold. "

I was smiling bitterly while listening to him on the phone. I don't know if it was because of his broken good lies or because I also had the same mood of" just go through it by myself. "

at the gate of 7-11, we sat by the side of the road, watching the cars passing by from time to time, the right wheel splashed over the pool of water after the evening rain, and the spray scattered back to the beach, reflecting the red and green lights of the convenience store signs.

I asked him, "Why do you say you have enough money? didn't you borrow 50 yuan from me until yesterday?"

he smiled first, the kind of smile that Chow Xingchi said to Cecilia Cheung after he shouted "I support you" in King of Comedy, which is the same, powerless and lonely, because they are all the same, knowing that they can't do it.

said: "I don't want to. My family just called to know if you are doing well. Should I tell them that I can't even pay the CET-6 registration fee of dozens of yuan? and maybe it's very simple. She just wants to hear my voice." With this he took a hard sip of his drink and added, "I can handle it myself."

\ "when my mother was 26 years old, I was born.

I have been with my mother for 6935 days."

since when do we choose not to tell our parents about these things? Whether it is the relative tears after saying "see you later" on the graduation night, crying bitterly in the streets of a lovelorn night walk, or being wronged and wept by your boss because of a miscalculation in a table, all these are bearable and can be spent alone.

but once we are asked by our parents, "how are you doing outside?" we don't want to say anything but want to hold her /his hand, just like in primary school. I was punished by the Chinese teacher for copying 500 new words after class. Finally, I cried and touched all the tears on my mother's back clothes, and then sat on the back of the motorcycle and went home for dinner.

every time you ask me how I am, I just want to go home.

\ "I don't want to be so sad that I can't answer any of the questions asked me in that test."

We forgot a lot of things can be solved by ourselves, but in their hearts, we finally returned to the identity of a "child", just like when I couldn't sleep at night and turned on the music and read the following message, there is one I always remember.

"the unfortunate child always wants to grow up quickly, and when she cries, she learns to be strong; when she is afraid, she learns to be brave; when she is bored, she learns to bear it; when she is tired, she learns to stand on her own feet."

but then there was a new message, which was said by the original commentator, "Why are you holding my hand? because I feel so warm when I am with you."

We put the link to the test in\ "read the original text\". If you also want to know how many chances you have left to eat with her for the rest of your life and how many days you have left to snuggle with her, you might as well click on it.