I thought you'd choose me over her.

good evening, everyone. Tonight's article is a little fresh. It comes from an official account, "Cold Love", which provides a lot of emotional information every day. Almost every day, our backstage will receive messages from different readers to pour out their feelings and troubles. However, most of the disorganized editors are single and can't give you good advice, so today I specially recommend our good friend Leng'ai 's article and its official account.

Today, I would like to recommend an article: "Girls must see: married Men pick up Girls Trilogy".

Cold Love is a practical emotional interpretation expert, does not teach you to please men, teach you to make men want to stop, happy love depends on their own fight, to be an intellectual woman rather than a man's accessories! Usually I always read his emotional column, but I feel that God has been friends for a long time. I hope everyone can fall in love with him like me!

you can follow his official account: cold Love, ID:lengaiweixin, and you can scan the code directly at the end of the article.

recently, several videos of suspected mistresses have gone viral on WeChat, in which a woman suspected of being a mistress was torn apart by two other women and then beaten with a stick.

such cases of married men having an affair and beating a mistress are common in life, and can not be completely eliminated. If I had not engaged in the work of intimate relationship, I would have scolded the mistress like passers-by after seeing this incident.

however, I am engaged in the work of intimate relationship, and I really want to solve the problem. So I'm sure to think:

what on earth is causing these problems?

what on earth happened to bring a young girl to such a position?

what is her deeper need behind this?

when a married man has an affair, does the fault really lie with the other woman?

what makes a beautiful young girl willing to take the risk of being beaten and denounced by social speech, and become a mistress who destroys the happiness of other people's families?

what internal methods do married men have to make them lower their prices so much?

these are all questions that I need to think about. Let's first take a look at a user's question:

@ A woman: I met him in training, and on the first day of the training, he said in front of everyone that he had a girlfriend engaged. He has a high EQ and knows what you need with one look. He is so kind to me that his friends think that I am suitable to be with him, and he will be very kind to me.

because he had a girlfriend, I refused to unwittingly like him, but I was so tangled that I blamed him for having a girlfriend. I was so sad that I couldn't sleep all the time, but he kept procrastinating and giving me hope. I have been waiting for finally to force him to give an answer, he came a long way to say that he told the family, the family did not agree, saying that I can still be with the person I like for the rest of my life. I withdrew and deleted the contact, and he didn't contact me either, but there was a hint.

I never let him go, and now he comes to care about me again because of the training exam. I am cold. He has something to say that he was married before training. I was confused after hearing this, and said that he was also very sad to find me, told his wife that his grandfather was in hospital and that his family was not good, and that he had done a lot of things for me and liked me very much. I can't believe I didn't know he was married for months. He always had a lot of time and would send pictures and chat at home. Now he told me this and came to care about me. I was heartbroken, and he said he would never see him again. I just want you to analyze his psychology. why are you doing this?

before analyzing, let's review the Trilogy of married Men picking up Girls. What is the typical trilogy of married men picking up girls?

1. She is unkind to me, and I have no feelings for her;

2. I love you, I will divorce and marry you, let's have sex;

3. I'm sorry, I can't get divorced for various reasons (my child is still young /my wife committed suicide /elders object /work arrangement /property division, etc.).

then return to the case of the above culprit.

the above case is actually the first step of a typical married man's trilogy of dating girls: I don't have a good relationship with my wife. However, I still like you. There is true love between me and you. There is no relationship between me and my wife. Or my family, this and that... Right? This is nothing new, nothing new in the sun. You said that there is really no other way for this married man to pick up girls. Anyway, these are the only three axes that are tossed over and over again.

in fact, married men can keep you with her for two reasons: first, to be a warm man and give you all kinds of small favors. Second, he can provide you with high emotional value.

giving gifts

this method is more common and easier to operate. A married man will whitewash himself as a warm man, and he will give you all kinds of small favors, such as snacks, scarves, perfume, and even a house and car, greatly raising your emotional expectations.

but girls, you know: a man who is really willing to give you a long-term commitment will not do so. You must resist greed and all kinds of small favors, so as not to get out of hand in the future.

before you accept a small favor from the other person, you must think about two things:

on the one hand, no one will inexplicably transfer money (gift) to you. He must think that it will move you. On the other hand, when he thinks and gets you through such a direct, simple and rude material input, his heart looks down on you, let alone respect you, and of course it has nothing to do with love.

in his eyes, in the short term, this is just a deal, just under the guise of love or marriage to confuse you, he will not let himself suffer;From a distance, he won't be nice to you. So for those girls who know they are with a married man, you have to figure out what you want.

as far as I know, the richer a man is, the more shrewd and stingy he is, and every penny he spends must be worth every penny. In particular, do you know what it means when you accept expensive things that don't belong to you? This means that you will not be able to wash it even if you jump into the Yellow River.

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Chinese education should tell girls early when they are young: the gifts given by fate are secretly marked with prices. Everything you get, you have to return. Return it with youth, with honor, and even with blood, this is the price. As I said in the past, people have been fighting against their own greed all their lives. If you take something that does not belong to you, you will eventually pay a high price for it.

provide emotional value

this technique is to provide you with extremely high emotional value and the ability to fluctuate at the emotional level.

whether it's because he's handsome and pleasing to the eye, you feel happy when you think of him or when you see him, or because he can make you happy and make you miserable, it can give you a lot of mood swings. No matter what he does, he can always influence your mood.

at this point, I would like to repeat what I have said in previous micro-questions and answers: many people misunderstand that emotional value is that one person can make another person happy (positive amplitude), but it is not. There is a saying that "you have to pay if you go to the cinema to see a tragedy." In fact, many people are also infatuated with the feeling of experiencing pain (negative amplitude), which is also an emotional value.

generally speaking, emotional value is the ability of a person to produce emotional fluctuations in the emotional aspects provided to you during the interaction. If it is simply roughly divided into happiness and sadness, then the greater the amplitude between the two can be created by technical means, the stronger the stimulus that can be felt by the supplied party.

and if you set a person in an emotionless state to zero, the mood swings you can feel have the same effect, whether a person can provide you with positive happiness or negative sadness. In fact, every time you feel positive happiness and return to zero emotion, it can also be understood that you are feeling pain, because the need for emotional value is essentially irreversible, and vice versa.

and those absolute experts who can provide emotional value are doing two things at the same time, in which case the volatility that can be felt by the supplied party will be greater, and it will be more difficult to get out, thus becoming addicted. Once addicted, you will only be slaughtered, just like taking drugs. Flirting, flirting, flirting is emotion.

Young girls, for married men, whether he can provide you with favors or high emotional value. You should think clearly about the real reason behind all the things he has provided you with. Once you choose, it means you have to bear all the consequences of your choice.

there are many men in the world. If you expand your social circle, you can always choose the man you like. If you don't know how to act, you can take a look at my other article, "hand in hand to teach you to find the perfect lover." gradually find your favorite boyfriend from scratch.