Harvard University studied the truth in'76: six tips for interpersonal communication, learning to benefit for life

in life, we often hear people say:

it is true that no matter what stage of life we are and what achievements we have, we can't avoid dealing with people.

Harvard University has shown in a 76-year study that

interpersonal relationships affect a person's quality of life.

good social interaction will make people healthier, happier, and even delay aging; otherwise, it will make people sad and unhappy.

Today, Uncle Fan summed up six social skills in the hope that everyone can reap high-quality relationships and live a happier life.

01

appreciation is the beginning of all good feelings

psychologists generally believe that

.

there is no one in the world who doesn't like to be praised. Only if you appreciate others, will others respond to you with a positive attitude.

there was a president of the United States named Coolidge, and one thing about him is still being talked about.

Coolidge has a beautiful female secretary who is often absent-minded and makes mistakes at work.

someone complained to Coolidge, hoping that he would severely punish the secretary.

Coolidge smiled and said he would handle it in his own way.

as soon as Coolidge saw the secretary one morning, he praised her:

the secretary received the president's approval and was beaming with delight.

Coolidge immediately added, "I believe your work ability is as beautiful as you are, but don't be proud."

since then, the secretary has changed her previous bad habits, worked conscientiously and made few mistakes.

as the old saying goes:

"good words keep warm in three winters, but bad words hurt people in June."

A compliment is like a spring breeze and inspired, while a mockery and criticism can make people depressed and frustrated.

Learning to appreciate others is respect, grace, and wisdom.

people who are really smart have always been masters of boasting.

02

before asking for help, learn to give each other benefits

Li Xiaolai wrote in "treat time as a friend"

is very heart-stirring, but the truth.

as the saying goes, everything in the world is for profit, and the world is bustling for profit.

the relationship between people is often exchanged for what I have in exchange for what you have.

there was a very popular Japanese drama called "the woman who sold the house".

the heroine is a salesman of a real estate company, and her mantra is "there is no house I can't sell".

this sentence makes her often laughed at.

Nowhere else you can find such a magnificent jolie girl homecoming dresses. New trendy arrivals are on hot sale now!

because she "doesn't do her job" every day when other colleagues take great pains to introduce the house to the client.

help clients take care of their children; grasp the other woman for clients; deal with family disputes.

her colleagues laughed at her for being stupid and doing things that had nothing to do with selling the house.

however, in the end, she sold out all the houses that were difficult for her colleagues to sell.

think about it, it is not without reason that she is so good.

after she observes the needs of users, helps them solve problems, and builds trust, customers are willing to buy.

as the saying goes:

the relationship between people is sometimes like a seesaw, when you lift someone up when they land, others are willing to lift you up, too.

those who are kind to others are good to others; those who are beneficial to others are beneficial to others.

what you want, you have to pay first.

03

learn to let others "give speeches"

A while ago, I watched "my wife's Romantic Journey" by Chen Jianbin's funny circle fans.

but looking back at the program, I found that Chen Jianbin was not a person with his own jokes. It was Li Ai, the host, who made him change in this way.

at the beginning of the program, Chen Jianbin was afraid that he was too old and had no topic with everyone, so he was very tight.

when Li Ai sees it, he will be asked questions, combined with current hot topics, to arouse his desire for expression.

then, when he speaks, Li Ai will also give timely feedback and agree.

slowly, Chen Jianbin opened the chatterbox, not only frequent golden sentences, but also showed a humorous side that had never been shown before.

We always say that what we need to express ourselves is ability, and what we need to let others express what we need is wisdom.

when dealing with people, too many people like to talk to themselves.

do not realize that those who are silent are not necessarily stupid, and those who are sharp-tongued are not wise.

as the saying goes:

with listening ears and a willing heart, you will have loyal friends. "

04

three values are different, learn to respect

"three values are different, there is no need for strong integration."

whether the three values agree or not has almost become an important consideration in interpersonal communication.

in the face of different values, some people know how to respect, while others like to evaluate other people's lives with their own rulers.

you know, there is no right or wrong in the three values, let alone high or low.

I can't help thinking of the stories of the writers Bai Xianyong and Chen Wenqian.

in 2004, Bai Xianyong's youth version of Kunqu Opera "Peony Pavilion" became popular. This emotional work aroused the feelings of countless people, but it was not loved by his old friend Chen Wenxi.

because Chen Wenxi believes that love is illusory and unreliable, she does not like the "Peony Pavilion" where love is supreme.

but Bai Xianyong doesn't know about it, and he always mentions this masterpiece at every party.

when Bai Xianyong sensed Chen Wenxi's dislike, he never mentioned the "Peony Pavilion" in front of her again.Three words.

Bai Xianyong did not force each other to accept it because they were friends, but remained rational and respected their friends' opposite opinions.

Chen Wenxi also said: "I am very grateful for this. He can innovate, I can be stubborn, and no one will convince the other. "

as the saying goes, a gentleman is harmonious but different.

No matter how good the relationship is, the three values will not be exactly the same. If you can't accept it, if you try to change each other, you will eventually have to go your separate ways.

as Kant said:

05

admit ignorance and learn to ask for help

Franklin said:

Luo Zhenyu mentioned a thing between him and his father in the Strange Theory.

before he went to college, his father said to him, "there is nothing my family can do to help you in the future. I can only give you four words, that is, learn to ask for help." The words

have also become a thickener in the process of Luo Yonghao's interpersonal communication.

when chatting with Mr. Liu Chuanzhi, he will ask each other what start-up companies should pay attention to most;

when they newly meet prosecutors, they will admit their own knowledge blind spots and ask each other for legal advice.

it is undeniable that "being able to ask for help" has become a sharp tool for Luo Yonghao to build interpersonal relationships.

Luo Yung-Hao also sighed several times that over the years, he was really grateful to his father for the four-word secret he had given him.

there is a saying: "the more mature the rice is, the more it hangs down."

A mature person always has the courage to admit his ignorance and is not afraid to reveal his "stupidity" and "stupidity".

this kind of "ignorance" is a kind of honesty.

humbly ask for advice because you don't have enough bosom friends in order to make your road wider and wider.

06

always be interested in others  psychologist Adler once said:

all human failures come from such people. "

this is true. If one is genuinely interested in others, he can make friends quickly and effectively.

I have seen such a story.

Jenston is recognized as a magician among magicians in the world. In his 40-year acting career, 60 million people have seen his performance.

during the last performance, someone ran to the dressing room to ask Jenston the secret of success.

while he was holding his notebook and waiting for Jenson to tell his secret book, Jenson said only one thing: "sincerely interested in other people."

when he saw that he was confused, Jenson explained to him:

most magicians think that the people sitting off the stage are a bunch of idiots and must be interested in their magic.

but Jenson's approach is completely different. Every time he goes on stage, he tells himself to be interested in the audience, pay attention to their favorites, and perform their favorite shows.

in this way, he became one of the most popular famous magicians.

between people, it is actually a two-way trip.

rather than perfunctory, being curious about others is a rare ability.

know that if you are interested in others, you will gain their attention.

as Horace said,

"We are interested in others when they are interested in us."

the starting point of all happy lives must be supported by good interpersonal relationships.

if you don't know how to interact with people, you must have a lot of trouble.

Life is not an island. We need to find a sense of achievement in the collective and tacit understanding in the team. None of these indicators can improve happiness.

I hope these six interpersonal tips can help you get rid of your social fears and find the true meaning of happiness.

the human heart is not difficult to understand, and human nature is not that complicated.