No matter how humiliating it is, always stand by your child.

A reader recently shared his personal experience with us:

when I was in junior high school, I got into a fierce fight with two students from other classes one day after school.

when the head teacher knew about this, he called me to the office and asked two very classic questions.

he said:

I was angry and aggrieved, and I don't know where the courage came from.

offended him: "I'm not wrong."

the head teacher was even more angry when he said that. He called my father to the office and added to the problem.

after hearing this, my father turned around and asked me calmly,

"did you pick it first?"

I shake my head.

the father sighed and said to the head teacher:

"teacher, I believe in my child.

there must be some misunderstanding. Please find out.

if it's my child's problem, I'll bring him in to apologize.

if it is the other party's problem, I also hope he can get an apology from those two children. "

after listening to my father's words, my heart seemed to be hit by something. My nose became sore and tears finally fell.

I didn't cry when I was beaten or suspected by the teacher. When

can be trusted by my father, I can't help it any longer.

now that I am a father, I think of what my father said that day.

I secretly made up my mind that no matter how big the problem was, I would stand beside my child and trust him in the future.

the child is very lucky to have such a father.

because what he conveys to the child is: I am always on your side.

for children, this kind of trust is not only love, sense of security, but also the strength on the way to grow up.

01

it takes courage to side with the child all the time.

Chinese people save face, even when it comes to children.

when children get into trouble, make mistakes, or behave impolitely, adults are often afraid that others think they have not educated their children well.

so regardless of the child's feelings, he began to criticize and criticize the child.

for example:

other people's children come to visit and take a fancy to their own children's toys.

whether the child wants it or not, parents will certainly take it from the child and give it to others.

when the child cries, he will blame him for being stingy, selfish and ignorant.

the child learns a talent and forces the child to perform during the holidays. Once the child is unwilling, he begins to accuse the child of being timid and futile.

when children accidentally get into trouble in public, hit someone or ice cream falls on the ground, they are sure to say a few words of rebuke in a loud voice to avoid embarrassment.

adults can't go beyond their own face and often choose to side with others to blame their children's problems.

the education of children is like being taught to others.

parents act like enemies in the face of their children's problems.

seldom think about protecting your child and working with him to solve these problems.

We must admit that many parents never stand with their children and always stand on the opposite side of their children.

02

in the book imperfect Gift, there is a short story:

the mother takes her eight-year-old daughter to the department store to buy shoes.

as a result, a pop song was playing at the shoe counter at that time, and her daughter danced on the spot.

there happen to be several adults with children coming to buy shoes next to the counter.

everyone stared at their daughter doing strange dances, some with teasing expressions on their faces, and some even whispering to each other.

my daughter was a little at a loss. She stopped and looked at her mother helplessly. Unexpectedly, her mother smiled and said

"you can add the scarecrow's actions!"

so the daughter continued to dance happily.

the mother never left her daughter's eyes and enjoyed her daughter's impromptu performance.

the mother said, "I don't want to 'betray' my daughter. I choose to side with her."

if you put this story in reality, many parents will interrupt their children in order to save face.

take the child away while scolding:

"it's not shameful to jump."

but the mother chose to side with her daughter.

standing with the child means that I am with you and I believe you;

means that no matter how many difficulties and gossip you face, you and I are always on the same side.

every child needs this kind of strength as they grow up.

03

seeing this, many adults may wonder:

always stand with the child, isn't that protecting the calf?

actually stand by the child, not protect the weakness.

when children make mistakes, you can criticize and punish them.

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but make sure he knows that you love and support him as always, and are his strongest support.

A mother once left a message that her 6-year-old son was playing with children and accidentally knocked down the neighbor's battery car and broke the rearview mirror.

the mother was very angry when she saw it, but the child was actually more scared.

instead of blaming the child, she squatted down and told him:

"Don't be afraid, Mom is here, Mom accompanies you to tell your uncle."

she accompanied the child to the neighbor's house.Instead of blaming the apology and compensation, they praised the child for being sensible.

Mother said:

"when a child does something wrong, he needs help more than blaming him.

if I didn't stand beside him and help him at that time, he would be the most helpless. "

it is not terrible for a child to make a mistake or get into trouble. Parents can accompany him to face it and bear it.

with the love and trust of parents, children have the strength to fight the world.

as the saying goes:

parents are always the strong backing of their children.