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parents quarrel, children call the police, there is a lot of news like this.
every time I see it, I can't help but thump my heart and feel sorry for the children in the news.
not long ago, a 9-year-old boy in Chongqing set off a "family war" because he was the last in his class.
parents can't accept their children's poor grades, so they begin to blame each other for not taking good care of each other.
as soon as he got excited, he started to do it.
the boy had a panoramic view of the whole process and was so frightened that he secretly called the police for fear that the contradiction would continue to intensify.
in fact, the boy's grades are not bad at ordinary times and are in the middle of the class.
but his parents are busy with work every day and often come home late, so they have no time for his study at all.
No one cares, no one teaches, no one accompanies, the boy gradually becomes playful, and his academic performance plummets.
who will carry this pot?
adults naturally point the finger at each other, insisting that it is not their own fault from beginning to end.
it is the children who suffer grievances and panic.
is it really the child's fault?
in the final analysis, he is just the victim of his parents' quarrel. it is not him who is really wrong, but the two parents who let go behind him.
it is the absence of parental discipline, love and care that leads to today's "farce".
parents who let go
can't teach good children
think of a boy named Yang Tong in the Transformers.
in the teacher's opinion, he is rebellious and arrogant, and he has no desire to learn.
on his first day of high school, he can move his desk to the back of the classroom, tear up textbooks and skip school while the teacher is not paying attention.
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when he left school, he stayed in bars and Internet cafes.
either invite friends to have a toast and fight together, or stay alone in Internet cafes and play games all night.
his chaotic life made his parents feel a headache, but there was nothing they could do about it.
as long as his parents preach, he is as jealous as an enemy and breaks things when he disagrees with each other.
in fact, after seeing the interaction between him and his parents, it is not difficult to understand why he is so naughty and tired of learning.
because no one cares about him since he was a child!
it is clear that the factory is not far from home, and his parents do not often go home; even if they have a mobile phone, they seldom communicate with him.
he is annoyed that his parents, who meet only once in more than ten days, complain about how tired adults are at work.
he hates that his parents have ignored him since he was a child. He would rather spend all his time in the factory than ask where he is going.
without the most basic emotional links, my mother becomes a walking cash machine, and my father is more like a stranger who has nothing to do with me.
how can such "false orphans" understand the truth of being a man and learn the meaning of reading in the guidance of their parents?
there are clouds in the ancients, but the son is not the fault of the godfather.
the responsibility for children's good study, correct behavior or deviation lies with their parents.
A building jump occurred in the community before.
the 13-year-old child who jumped from a building was picked up by his parents from his hometown for the first year of junior high school just a few months ago.
when they live with their parents for the first time, the children are afraid of birth, introverted and timid, and they can't adapt to their study and life when they come to the new environment.
but my father often travels on business, and my mother asks her neighbors to play mahjong at home every day, so she is not aware of the child's problems.
near the end of the term, the child was anxious and in a bad state before the exam. He was scolded by his mother, but he couldn't get over it for a moment and climbed the window and jumped off the building.
after the incident happened, the neighbors talked about it one after another, and everyone sighed: the problem with the child is because of the parents' long-term neglect!
No matter how sensible and obedient a child is, he still needs the care of his parents.
parents are busy with their own affairs all day and do not participate in their children's lives, which not only disturbs the child's growth, but also easily destroys his future.
they neglect the responsibility on their shoulders and fail to see the urgent needs of their children, let alone the future direction of their lives.
this kind of education, which has nothing to do with its own business, is a poison on the way to a child's growth, which is enough to destroy a child's life.
Don't expect to be able to manage in the future
A few days ago, a netizen asked Zhihu for help:
the child has not understood a lot of math since he was in the third grade of primary school.
now that the child is in the fifth grade, he doesn't want to learn his math homework every time. What should I do? The simple question of
has attracted more than 300 comments. The unanimous conclusion is that
must be that the foundation has not been laid, and that parents have neglected the cultivation and guidance of their children's learning quality.
when the children are in the third grade, they don't understand the contents of the class, so why don't the parents help them teach it, or ask their children to ask the teacher for advice?
now that the child is in the fifth grade and does not have the most basic concepts and solving ability, how can he be expected to suddenly enlighten and know everything?
on the way to education, never expect children to be self-conscious.
especially in the stage of laying the foundation, parents do not attach importance to it, do not take it seriously, do not cultivate their children's good habits from the root, and leave the power of education to others, and it must be the children who suffer.
the National Survey report on the status of Family Education published in 2018 pointed out that one of the most serious problems in home-school communication is that
parents think that educating their children is mainly the responsibility of schools and teachers.