The most advanced family education is that parents do these seven things.

Scott, a famous American psychologist. In the way of few people, Pike said:

01

appropriate rejection

people have desires, and so do children.

the proper eating of candy is called demand, and unrestrained eating is desire;

buying toys is called demand, and when you see toys, you want to buy them, which is desire;

watching cartoons is called demand, and wanting to watch all the time is desire.

We all know that eating too much candy will cause bad teeth, seeing toys and wanting to buy them will cause waste, and watching cartoons all the time will affect children's eyesight.

but the child doesn't know, he only knows that he likes it, he wants it, and even threatens his parents to satisfy their desires by crying.

because he can't tell the difference between needs and desires, and what parents have to do is to learn to reject their children's desires while meeting their children's needs.

you can love your child, but you should have a bottom line and satisfy your child without restraint. This is not love, but will do harm to the child.

parents should let their children understand that being vexatious cannot achieve their goal, and that they should learn to abstain from what they like.

02

timely praise

educator Yan Yuan said: it is not as long as a prize to count ten.

the inner strength of a child who has been beaten since childhood is completely different from that of a child who has been praised since childhood.

parents should observe their children from the perspective of appreciation. When their children have done something well, they should give them praise in time so that they have the motivation to do better.

Children need affirmation, the affirmation from parents will make the children full of confidence, and excellent children are all praises.

however, praising children is not brainless about their "intelligence" and "greatness". Praise is also fastidious.

Carol Dweck, a psychology professor at Stanford University, solemnly mentioned that

praising a child's talents rather than his efforts, strategies and choices will slowly stifle his growth thinking.

talent cannot be changed, and simply praising a child's talent will make him trapped.

parents should praise their children's efforts, their tenacity, their creativity and their attitude. In this way, the child will be better and better.

03

appropriate criticism

Children make mistakes, and parents usually educate their children in a critical way.

but criticism is not rude shouting, satirizing or humiliating children, let alone venting their emotions and destroying their self-confidence and self-esteem.

Soviet educator Markolenko said:

first of all, parents can educate their children when they make mistakes, but they should be careful not to criticize their children in front of outsiders.

parents should find a place where no one else is present, point out the child's mistakes, and then tell him what to do. The child will be more willing to accept criticism, and the effect of education will be better.

secondly, parents should let their children know that they have done something wrong, not that he is a bad boy.

if you have made a mistake, just correct it in time and make up for it. There is no need to struggle all the time.

finally, to control your emotions, parents can be serious or even strict, but don't vent their negative feelings on their children. Only such criticism can make children really realize their mistakes.

04

proper argument

when there is an argument, there is freedom of speech, and the same is true in the family.

between parents and children, there cannot be only one sound. When there is only one sound, there is something wrong with education.

parents should be able to refute their children, and children should seriously put forward what they say or do wrong, instead of blindly echoing their children's remarks, no matter what the child says is "good, good", "right, right, right or wrong."

this is actually a kind of doting, making children accustomed to self-centeredness, egotism at home and always asking others outside.

at the same time, parents should also allow their children to refute themselves. the other extreme of indulgence is the parents' uncontrollable desire for control.

if parents only ask, force, advise and dominate their children, it is actually a deprivation of their children's life.

A harmonious family has more than one voice. Parents and children can always make demands on each other and grow up together.

Children who grow up in such a family are thoughtful, independent, and humbly listen to the voices of others.

05

necessary encouragement

A film "A Family with Children" contracted for a generation's childhood, and when we relived the show again, we were still filled with emotion.

especially Xia Donghai's way of education, it seems that it is worth learning from our parents.

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during a meal, Liu Mei complained that Liu Xing was poor in homework, ranked last in the rankings, and that chemistry and Chinese were on the verge of passing.

Xia Donghai saw that Liu Xing did well in math and physics.

in addition to his academic achievements, Xia Donghai also expressed his appreciation for Liu Xing's strong communication skills and flexibility.

with his encouragement, Liu Xing, who had been depressed by his mother, also regained his self-confidence.

A good education is awakening, not transformation.

in fact, every child's future is hidden in the mouth of his parents.

the more parents belittle their children, the less confident they will be.

when parents learn to encourage their children, they can awaken their children's sense of self-identity and they will move forward in the direction you expect.

06

gentle comfort

when the child is aggrieved, sad and ashamed, heWhat we need is a gentle and comforting relative, not a strict teacher, a cold passer-by, a scary wolf grandmother, let alone a ferocious guard.

in "where is Dad going?", there is an egg protection link. Because the "Zhang pony" was broken, he chose to lie to Zhang Liang every day because he didn't want his father to be sad, saying that it was not his father's egg that was broken.

later, under the guidance of Zhang Liang, he admitted that he had lied to others every day, saying "I'm sorry, hit me" and crying bitterly.

it is worth noting that Zhang Liang did not stop crying every day, but comforted:

"explain it to the village head, it doesn't matter, okay?"

under my father's gentle comfort, I soon stopped crying and comforted my father with a tearful smile.

it is normal for children to have negative emotions. what parents should do is not to stop their children's negative emotions and force them to "laugh", but to allow them to vent and patiently appease their children.

the child who is accepted by his parents will build up enough sense of security inside.

07

effectively urge

Yang Chenyu, the top student in the college entrance examination in Guangxi, with a total score of 730, setting a record for the highest score in science in Guangxi. It can be said to be learning from God, so how did such an excellent child be educated?

when talking about the experience of educating children, Mother Yang said:

"We must supervise the formation of habits when the child does not have the ability to think independently."

it's a painful process. You have to keep an eye on him and keep an eye on him all the time. After he has been stereotyped, the road ahead will be easy to go. "

No matter how smart the child is, it is difficult for his parents to do great things without supervision.

on the road of educating children, do not expect children to be self-conscious, because every conscious child is the result of strict supervision by parents from an early age.

it is human nature to give up in the face of difficulties, to give up halfway, and to be afraid of hardship and tiredness, and education is to help children overcome these natures and make him a more self-disciplined and progressive person.

what parents need to do is to add fire to their children, cheer them up, and appropriately force their children before they choose to give up.

because he doesn't push the child, he may never know how good he is.

your child is your child, so you need to plan for his future and make your child a better person.

your child is not your child, so you can only guide him, but you can't lead him. You can only teach him the ability to distinguish and choose, but you can't control his life.

it is easy to be a parent, but it is difficult to be a good parent. the most important thing is to never forget the original ideal and ambition and always understand that education is for our children, not for ourselves.

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