What you fight for, you lose.

Laozi said, "the way of the world is good at winning without striving."

the more you argue, the more you lose, and the more tired your heart is.

in life, the more you fight for something, the more you will lose.

01

contend for right or wrong with your lover, win the truth and lose the relationship.

Mark Harden said: "if you want to live with another person, you have to make concessions."

husband and wife live together, the more they quarrel, the more they refuse to make concessions, and the more indifferent they end up feeling.

A famous psychologist and his wife reconcile their conflicts by constantly NG.

one day, he dragged his tired body home from work and found his home in a mess. He couldn't help complaining about his wife.

"it's such a mess at home. You've been at home all day. Why didn't you tidy it up?"

the wife did not show weakness, but plausibly said:

"A lot of things are yours, why don't you organize them yourself?"

so the two men argued with reason, and the quarrel became more and more serious.

suddenly, the psychologist realized there was something wrong with his attitude, stopped and said,

"No, NG, let's do it again."

then put on your clothes, pick up your bag, go out of the house, tidy up your mood, and walk into the house again.

as soon as he opened the door, he smiled and said, "Honey, I'm back. Are you all right?"

at this time, the wife also responded with a smile on her face: "I'm great. How are you today?"

A family conflict is so cleverly resolved.

when husband and wife get along, the relationship is never right or wrong, only the depth.

quarrel, patience is worn away at the beginning, patience is worn out, and love begins to wear away slowly.

when love fades away, the marriage will come to an end.

if you reason with your lover, you will only talk more and more about your feelings, and finally win the truth and lose your feelings.

husband and wife get along with each other, talk more about feelings and less reason.

only in this way can the relationship between husband and wife become more and more harmonious and life become happier and happier.

02

competed with my parents and won for a while and lost for a lifetime.

the story of the writer Mai Jia and his father has always made people feel sorry for each other.

when he was 12 years old, his classmates called his father a "cow ghost and snake god", and the Mai family wrestled with their classmates.

as a result, the father, who heard the news, slapped his face indiscriminately, and Mai's nostrils were filled with blood.

from that day on, the Mai family held a grudge against their father and refused to talk to him for 17 years.

he studies hard to leave his father; he only writes to his mother to get back at his father.

the job has been transferred to more than a dozen cities, and the Mai family has never returned to their hometown and never thought of meeting their father.

until later, the Mai family became a father, and he gradually understood his father because of his son's rebellion.

but when he returned to his hometown, his father suffered from amnesia and no longer knew him.

"after you fall ill, I am very afraid of your death. I want to atone for my sins and make up for my mistakes. I owe you so much. I'll pay you back. "

after his father's death, the Mai family often read their works at their father's grave in an attempt to gain his father's understanding in this way.

later, on the stage of the Reader, the Mai family burst into tears and said,

"Father, you have given me a lot in your life. I want one last point, a sober smile, a firm approval, a comfort, a forgiveness, a father-son affectionate hug. But you didn't, father. You just left. "

Home is the last place to compete.

compete with parents, unwilling to bow their heads and unwilling to be considerate, in the end, it will only make the family more and more indifferent.

the end result is that when you wake up and look back, only to find that your parents are gone.

Family affection is the most unbearable to wait. Don't wait until you lose it, only to find that it is already too late.

03

compete with friends, win face and lose money.

Zhihu netizen @ white code told a story.

netizens and college roommates apply for employment in the same company, and the two also rent together in private.

netizens work very hard and are still studying after work.

while roommates spend more time playing games and playing short videos after work because of their well-off families.

soon, there is a great disparity in the strength of the two.

netizens were promoted to project manager directly because of their outstanding ability and outstanding performance in several projects.

at this time, roommates showed jealousy and dissatisfaction, often teasing netizens openly and secretly.

considering the old love, netizens are silent and turn a blind eye.

the more the netizens swallow their anger, the more their roommates become worse.

the contradiction between the two people is getting deeper and deeper, the gap between them is getting bigger and bigger, and finally the netizens move out.

Our collection of champagne dresses for older brides are bound to dazzle and bewitch you. Once you make up your choice, relax, we will take care of everything.

later, the roommate also changed jobs and left the company, deleting all contact information of netizens before leaving.

too many friendships in life are destroyed by a dispute, want to be superior to others in everything, and live a better life than friends everywhere.

No one knows that if you blindly compete with your friends, you will only win face and lose face in the end.

not only drifting away from friends, but also making yourself worse and worse under jealousy.

especially agree with a saying on the Internet:

you will go only if you admit the excellence of others first.To be excellent.

keep your posture flat, learn to appreciate friends from high places, and think of what you can do in order to meet a better self.

04

compete with partners for interests, win small profits and lose the pattern.

there is a theory in economics that there is no competition between buyers and sellers.

Competition always occurs between buyers and buyers, or between sellers and sellers.

the relationship between partners is like the relationship between buyers and sellers. Only by giving way to each other can we work together.

Lin Zhengjia, a builder, was very shrewd when he was young, and everyone in the industry knew it.

although he is very business-savvy and able to do things, he has worked hard for many years, but his career is still not improving.

he is no less intelligent or diligent than others, but his career always feels unpopular.

after calming down, he used 10,000 yuan as start-up capital to return to the mall.

from grocery stores to cement plants, from contractors to builders, partners swarmed in. In just a few years, his assets have grown by leaps and bounds, creating a business myth.

in fact, the secret of Lin Zhengjia's success is extremely simple, that is, he insists on getting two points less when working with partners.

if you get two points less, it means that the other person can get two more points, and when the other person has made money, he is more willing to cooperate with him.

many people cooperate, haggle over pennies, and deliberately want benefits, but in the long run, they will only lose the pattern and lose more benefits.

willing to give way to the other party, there is a big pattern, on the contrary, it will bring greater benefits to yourself.

in the face of interests, everyone is selfish, and everyone is eager to get the best interests.

but really smart people are often good at losing rather than taking advantage, and there are often more opportunities behind the losses.

05

disturb the world one after another, fighting for nothing.

if you argue with your lover, you will lose your feelings; if you argue with your parents, you will lose your family;

you will lose your friendship if you argue with your friends; if you argue with your partners, you will lose your interests.

whoever you argue with, you win, you lose.

Don't argue with anyone, you really win.